The Whole Nine Yards
by politiksandprose
Summary: It's becoming harder and harder to believe that 'if two people are meant to be together, they'll eventually find their way back' as Rachel heads out to New York to attend Julliard, and Finn is sent off for his Basic Combat Training in the army.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show, **_**Glee**_** nor the characters. Just this story. **

Rachel Berry stared at the white and purple envelope sitting on her dinner table in awe. It was a big one. _The big one._ She squealed out loud from the excitement coursing through her body before noticing the echo of her shrilly voice in her empty house.

Without a second thought, she jumped into car; she couldn't wait to show him! Taking the back routes to avoid traffic, she made her way to a home that she knew all too well. As usual, the door was left unlocked allowing Rachel to race up the stairs without wasting a second.

"Finn!" she yelled, breathlessly.

Finn looked over at her confusedly from behind his TV, taking in her shining eyes.

He was about to open his mouth to ask her what in the world could have her so excited when she revealed the large envelope. Before he knew it, her arms were wrapped around him and she was giggling excitedly.

"I got in, Finn! I got into Julliard! Can you believe it? I got in!" she said, repeatedly and he squeezed her a little bit tighter.

"Of course you did, Rach! You're amazing!" he said into her hair. "I'm really happy for you, babe!"

She looked up to see a weird, contorted look on his face and she's really not sure why it's there. Why doesn't he look as happy as he should for her? The thoughts soon leave her, though, as he sits up from under her and grabs her wrists.

"Come on, let's go celebrate!" His voice sounds happy but his face looks gruff.

He kisses her before grabbing his jacket, and it feels off. Passionate but … sad, almost. She's about to ask him what's wrong but he's gone already, heading down the stairs.

She slaps a smile back on her face, and grabs her big envelope. She'll ask him what's wrong later; right now, all she wants to think about is her acceptance to Julliard and living the dream that she had always envisioned she would. Five more months, and she'll be living in the Big Apple, baby!

* * *

Five months. Five months, and she'll be gone. Five months until they have to do the whole long-distance thing. And then what? Six months until they break-up and she moves on with hotter, smarter guys in New York- guys who are smart enough to actually get into Julliard and are just as big of a star as she is?

He's sitting in a booth at Breadstix for Rachel's celebratory dinner, Rachel snuggling next to him. She's talking animatedly at his brother and Blaine – about New York and Broadway and all that's not Ohio, he's sure, and he just stares at her.

He loves her, that much he's sure of. Maybe they _can_ do the long-distance thing. Hey, maybe he can move to New York with her! He could go to a school in the city or something. They could even get an apartment to live in.

But he knows that impossible, though. Because he already has plans for after high school; plans he has yet to tell Rachel about.

All he knows is that he_ can_ imagine himself going the whole nine yards with Rachel – marriage, kids, grandkids, all of that. And he knows that for now, she can too. He's just afraid that when she goes to New York, she'll meet someone better, _much better_, and she'll change her mind about him.

He's brought out of his thoughts as he feels a sharp pain in his shin. He looks up agitated, and notices Rachel isn't next to him anymore.

"Where did Rach go?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "She went to the bathroom, Finn. Could please pull your head out of your ass and be happy for her?"

"I _am_ happy for her!" he defended himself.

"You look like you'd rather jump off a building than be here right now. She's so excited, Finn. Don't ruin this moment for her."

"I know," Finn sighed. "I just … I don't know how to tell her that…" he stops mid-sentence as he sees her reproaching figure.

"Tell her what, Finn?" Kurt says, annoyed.

"I'll tell you later" he whispered before grabbing Rachel's hand causing her to fall into his lap.

"You look beautiful, baby" he whispered huskily into her ear, a smile appearing on his face as a scarlet blush took over hers.

"Are you okay, Finn? You've been quiet all night…" Concern is laced in her voice and he looks down, shame taking over his features.

"Of course, I'm better than fine" he lied. "And I'm so _very_ proud of you, Rach. I always knew you could do it" he said softly, his eyes widening in honesty.

"I love you, Finn."

She's looking at him with these big, brown eyes and he feels a weird twinge in his stomach.

"I love you too, Rach. So much" he said, before kissing the base of her neck.

* * *

Shit. _Shit_. It's May and Finn still hasn't told Rachel about his plans for after high school. They're graduating in a month, and he feels like if he tells her now, it'll ruin their summer.

He got into Ohio State, and of course, that's where she thinks he's going. But to be perfectly honest, he's kind of scared to tell her the truth. There are so many ways that conversation can go – of course, there could be the waterworks, which he's not sure he can handle. Or the anger, which he'd actually prefer over the tears even though her anger scares him to death. Or she could just ignore him; break-up before they get any more attached (if that's possible). Or, she could just be cool with it. She could accept it, and still stay with him. He knows the last option is the least realistic, but it's kind of the one he's hoping for.

He decides that he'll tell her tonight; they're having dinner at his house with his family and he figures, if he tells her now, maybe it'll give her time to cool off in time for summer vacation. But, _fuck_, he's still stressed.

He jumped onto his bed and grabbed his PS3 controller; maybe shooting some zombies will get his mind off of all of this.

He'd been working on increasing his kill/death ratio when Rachel walked in quietly. He didn't notice her presence until he feels his bed shift from her weight, and he turned over to see her.

She has tears in her eyes, and he's not sure why. He's hoping against hope that tears aren't a result of what he thinks they are.

He shuts off the TV, and moves closer to her. He sighs outwardly as she shifts further away from him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered, her voice coated with pain. _Fuck_. _Fuck. Fuck._ He was right. She already knew.

"Rach …" He begins, but he's really not sure where to go. He had a whole speech planned out in his head for tonight but he can't remember a single thing he was supposed to say to her to make this better.

"I was downstairs helping your mom out with dinner, and she just said it, like I was supposed to already know about this or something _… why didn't I know, Finn?"_ Finn sighed. Keeping secrets from Rachel never, _ever_ worked out for him; First the whole Santana-thing, and now this.

"Rach, I was scared. I was scared you'd be hurt, or … or that you'd break up with me" He's looking down, but he can feel her eyes on him as she pulls his face into her tiny hands.

"Finn, you're mom was talking about how you've wanted to go into the army ever since you were a child. You always wanted to be like your dad, and I get that – I do. I just don't understand why you'd want to hide that from me?" She's hurt, he can tell by her voice.

"It's not that I didn't want you to find out, it's just that I was scared you'd break up with me" he's repeating himself, he knows. But he really, really doesn't want her to think that he's hiding things from again.

"But why? Why would you think that I'd break up with you, Finn?"

"Because, Rachel!" Finn explodes. "You're going to New York, to this amazing school where you're going to meet amazing people – and guys, lots of them. And they're going to be smarter than me, and better looking than me, and they'll know all about your favorite Broadway shows and musicals, and, and I'll be off in training for months, and I won't get to come home to see you for a long time – a _long time_, Rach. And I'm just scared that you'll realize it's not worth it; I'm not worth it. I just wanted to push it off until like, the end of summer or something when we both have to leave." He finishes, and he can feel his face hot and red, his lungs out of breathe.

She's looking at him, concentrated. His heart sinks – she's gonna break up with him, isn't she. She's trying to think of a good, proper way to break up with him _right now._ She'll tell him that he's right, she can do bett-

His thoughts are cut off as her lips crash onto his. He falls back onto the bed and she lands on top, her hands roaming aimlessly in his head.

She breaks away, and rests her forehead on his. "We're going to have to buy webcams" she muses, her voice ragged from the lack of oxygen in her lungs.

He looked at her confused and she smiled, "Look, I'll be in New York and you'll be God knows where. But, I love you, Finn. And I'm not sure I can handle going months without seeing this beautiful face, even if it's just virtually" she says, letting her finger glide across his jaw.

"I promised you I'm not going to break up with you, Finn. And I intend on keeping that promise" she said softly before bring her lips back to his.

**A/N: Hey guys! So I'm much more used to writing one-shots, it's all I've written basically (except for a three-shot I wrote once, which really felt like a one-shot anyway lol) but this is my first venture into the world of actual stories. I have great things in mind for it, so let me know how you all thought this first chapter went! It's not the best, I know. But it gets better, I swear! This will pan out to be around 10 chapters, if all goes accordingly. I really hope you all liked it! Please, please, please make my day and leave me a review! It just makes my life so much better =) **

**Until next time … **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show, **_**Glee**_**, the characters nor the song used in this chapter. Just this story. **

Rachel Berry was graduating. _Graduating!_ She couldn't believe it. Graduation seemed so far off in the distant future in her mind, but here it was, knocking on her front door.

She looked at the white gown lying on her bed, and then at the cap she was holding in her hands, playing with the red tassels. She couldn't believe she was done. Done with the torture. Done with the slushie-facials. Done with the constant belittling and sly insults. She was also done with Glee club, and the thought of that physically made her heart hurt.

She set the cap down as she went to pick up Finn's graduation present. She'd gotten him two things – a webcam and a stationary set. Well, it wasn't _exactly_ a stationary set because she knew he'd feel awkward taking that with him to … wherever, he was going for training, so she just packed paper, pens, envelopes and postage stamps in a box; She figured he'd have no excuse for not writing to her while he was away, now.

She still couldn't believe Finn had chosen to go into the military. Yeah, things were going to be hard with her in New York and him in Ohio but she'd assumed that they'd come up to see each other on random weekends or breaks. Now, they didn't have that option. He would be in training for nine weeks straight such little outside contact that it made her head spin – how was she going to survive this?

But she had to. She had to survive, and more importantly, she had to put on a brave face for him because she knew he was scared, though he'd never in a million years admit it. And she had been, for the last couple of months. They rarely brought up the subject of the two of them leaving to two different states at the end of the summer, but when they did she made sure she'd assure him that they'd make it through this, they had to. They were Finn and Rachel and they'd already made it through so much – babygate, an abundance of insecurities, cheating, lies, secrets – yet they were still going strong. She couldn't let this be the thing that broke them apart. To be honest, she's not sure she would even be able to handle that; just the thought of not seeing him for nine weeks made her heart feel constricted and the air around her feel heavy. She'd never be able to deal with them breaking up … not again.

"Rachel, are you ready? We want to get there early so we can find spectacular seats for your big day!" Hiram yelled from the bottom of the staircases bringing Rachel out of her thoughts.

Yes, she thought. She was ready. She was ready to put an end to her four years of misery and begin a new life in a place where, hopefully, people were less judgmental. She grabbed her gown off of her bed, accidentally knocking down a picture frame on her side table. She picked it off of the floor and stared at it; it was Glee club on the day they won Nationals. They looked so happy and overwhelmed. They looked like they were together, like they were a part of something special. And they were. She felt a tug at her heart as she realized she wasn't ready to leave _this_ yet. Glee club had made her four years at McKinley more bearable than she had ever thought, and now it'd be so hard to end that bond that had taken so long to form.

_Bittersweet_, she thought. Graduating and leaving everything behind was bittersweet.

* * *

_Another turning point;__  
__a fork stuck in the road.__  
__Time grabs you by the wrist;__  
__directs you where to go.__  
__So make the best of this test__  
__and don't ask why._

_It's not a question__  
__but a lesson learned in time._

Bittersweet, thought Finn. That's the word he'd been trying to think of all day. Since the moment he'd woken up that morning till now, he couldn't figure out what he was feeling; but that was it … High school coming to an end was bittersweet.

For a long time, Finn was convinced that he'd be one of those Lima-Losers who'd peak during High School. He was sure that being popular during high school and the star quarterback was all Finn would achieve during his life; he was so afraid that from here-on-out, it'd be all down-hill. But then, Rachel came into his life and she somehow changed that. She made him _want _to work, she made him _want_ to get good grades … she made him believe in himself; made him believe that he, too, could leave this town for bigger and better things.

He put placed the cap on his head and looked at the mirror. This was it. He'd be out of this school forever, so very soon.

All of a sudden, Finn felt nervous. _This was it_, he realized. Sure, high school wasn't the best time of his life, but it was comfortable. He knew everyone, and everyone knew him. He sat down on a stool nearby, his head spinning from all the changes that were to come. He'd be in a military boot camp soon, without Rachel, his mom, Kurt … everyone and anyone familiar, really. He hated to admit it, but he was scared.

Finn felt two cold, tiny and familiar hands cover his eyes, bringing him out of his thoughts.

He smiled. "I wonder who this could be …" he said, jokingly before grabbing Rachel's wrist to pull her into his lap.

"I can't believe this is going to be our last duet, Finn!" she said, a frown playing on her lips as she thought about the song she was about to sing with Finn to her fellow graduates.

"This isn't our last duet, Rach. One day, when we're living in New York City and we have a bunch of little Finns and Rachels running around, we're going to sing a duet every night to put them to sleep" he said, watching as her eyes and smile grew bigger.

"Really, Finn Hudson? How many 'little Finns and Rachels' are you planning to have exactly?"

"Oh, I don't know … ten, maybe fifteen?"

She snorted, "Considering that I'm going to have to push out those little monsters, I say we limit ourselves to, I don't know … one? Two, perhaps."

"Six" he said, stubbornly.

"Finn, this isn't up for negotiation. You could choose the number if you were the one who had to actually give birth, but since you're not …"

"I would if I could, babe … but since I can't, I'm sticking with Six!" he said, nodding his head.

"Fine," she retorted, "Three."

"Five."

"Four."

"Six!"

"Five!" she said, exasperatedly.

"Fine, anything for you, babe" he said smugly, before brushing Rachel's knuckles with his lips. "I think we have to go sing, now. I'm pretty sure the dude outside is done with his speech" he said, getting up to straighten his gown.

"The 'dude outside' is the mayor of Lima, Finn" she said, rolling her eyes. "I'll see you outside" she said, leaving a chaste kiss on his lips.

He grabbed her wrist as she began walking outside, "Break a leg."

She squeezed his hand with hers, "I love you."

_It's something unpredictable,_

_But in the end it's right,_

_I hope you had the time of your life._

_

* * *

_

The summer went by in a happy, lazy daze Rachel realized, as she sat on Finn's bed watching as he packed his small suitcase. Tomorrow, they'd both be leaving on two separate planes to two very separate locations; him at the crack of dawn, and her right before midnight. She shut her eyes to rid herself of all the anxiety and sadness she was feeling, only to feel hot tears roll down her face. Not even a second later, she felt large, cool hands on her face, brushing her tears away.

"What's wrong, babe?" he asked, concern laced in his voice.

She sniffed, feeling like an idiot. She shouldn't be crying; she had to be strong. Sure, she was leaving behind everything Finn was, like their homes, parents, friends, but at least she was going somewhere familiar – somewhere she knew she always belonged. He, on the other hand was going somewhere so foreign, so unfamiliar. He had no idea what to expect, knew no one … she had to be the supportive one, not vice versa.

"I'm sorry, it's nothing … I'm just sad" she confessed in a raspy voice.

Another jolt of sadness coursed through her body as she noticed the heartbreaking combination of anguish and love in his eyes. She brought her face closer to his as she settled her lips on his. She pulled him down slowly onto the bed, as her hands toyed with his hair.

He pulled away, resting his forehead on hers. "I'm gonna miss you so much, Rach."

Rachel whispered a tearful "me too" before bringing her lips back to his.

"Finn," Rachel said breathlessly a few minutes later. "I think… I think that we should do it." Finn looked, confusion masking his face.

"Have sex, I mean" she clarified, watching as his eyes grew to the size of soccer balls.

"Are … are you serious, Rach?" he barely coughed out.

"Yes," she said, sitting up straight. "I love you, and I just want to give you something before you leave. If this … if we don't work out, I want you to have something to remember me by." Tears filled her eyes as Finn brought his lips to hers once again.

"Don't say that, Rach" he whispered, pain evident in his voice. "We'll make it through this, we have to - we love each other. Distance will be nothing but just a number on the dashboard."

As soon the words left Finn's mouth, relief filled Rachel body. She was never surer of the fact that she was completely and irrevocably in love with Finn Christopher Hudson.

She brought her lips to his yet again as she slipped her tank-top off.

"I'm ready. I love you" she whispered into his ear huskily.

He looked at her softly, kissing her forehead before tugging his own shirt off.

Rachel could barely hear the 'I love you more' that left Finn's mouth as she found herself getting lost in his touch. _Impossible_, she thought, it was impossible for him to love her more than she loved him.

* * *

Rachel moaned as she felt the sunlight pour through from the windows. Letting out a sigh contentedly as she thought about the night before, she rolled over to snuggle next to Finn, knowing it was her last chance to do so before he left for nine months.

Only, he wasn't there; the rumpled sheets oddly cold.

Frenzied, she grabbed her phone to check the time; hoping, wishing, praying it wasn't six in the morning yet; it couldn't be. He couldn't have let yet.

She felt a sob escape her lungs as she finally saw the time – 8:24 am. He was gone.

She pulled his sheets closer to his body, inhaling his scent as tears flowed freely from her eyes.

She didn't get to say goodbye.

**A/N: Hey everyone! First of all, thank you so much for the amazing response to the first chapter! My inbox was full of favorites, reviews and alerts! I seriously flipped out every time I got a new notification for one of those! Second of all, I really hope you guys liked this chapter! It was kind of sad, I know. But the beginning was full of fluff :D Anyway, please please please review! I'd love to get some constructive criticism! =)**

**Until next time … **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I just want to thank you all for the amazing response! My inbox was totally full from alerts/favorites/reviews! I almost had a heart attack! :D Enjoy!**

**SUPER IMPORTANT: If anyone is willing to be a beta, please please let me know! I'm really bad at editing my own work, I could use some help! Thanks so much!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show **_**Glee, **_**nor the characters. Just this story. **

Rachel sat at Starbucks, a stack of books to her right as she started her laptop, getting ready for a rigorous study-session.

School hadn't been easy for her, lately. With constant auditions, classes, and all of her extracurricular activities, sometimes she found it hard to fit in the basic necessities like eating and showering in her day. Not to mention, the added stress and consistent anguish she felt from not talking to Finn for six weeks now. He hadn't been allowed any outside communication aside from letters thus far, and letters just felt so inadequate. She could barely find the words to express how much she missed him; she just wanted to see his face, to make sure he was doing okay.

As per routine, Rachel signed onto her Skype account, hoping against hope that somehow, Finn would be online. A small sigh escaped her lips as her eyes grazed the grey icon above his name, signifying that he had yet to sign on.

Rachel felt a twinge in her heart; most days, she was fine with Finn being in the army. She would just think of the words they'd exchange the night before as well as … well, everything _else_ they'd exchanged that night and she'd feel as close to okay as she possibly could without her boyfriend by her side. But then, there were days like this. Days where she absolutely could not stand the distance and the lack of communications. Days where all she could think about was how much she missed him.

With a heavy heart, she set her laptop aside, still turned on, and opened a page to her textbook.

_The basic elements of jazz music are introduced through exercises in composition and arranging, as well as a – _Rachel abruptly looked up, breaking her concentration from her Jazz Theory textbook as a fluttery, airy ringtone grew louder and louder. She scrambled to bring her laptop closer to her as she squinted at the little green tab that appeared on her screen. Finn Hudson Calling… _Finn Hudson Calling?_ Rachel's brain froze, too shocked to make any sort of move. Had she been missing him so much that now her brain was hallucinating? Or was he _actually_ calling?

Slowly, Rachel directed the mouse towards the green tab, closing her eyes as she clicked on the 'accept call' button. She refused to get her hopes up in the case that her brain really was just playing a dirty trick on her; fooling her into believing that Finn was calling her.

She let out an exaggerated sigh of relief as she saw Finn's pixilated face fill her computer screen.

"Finn!" She breathed, unable to really believe that he was sitting there, right in front of her (virtually, of course.)

"Rach!" She could feel his excitement bubbling over, taking over her own body. She held up a finger to him, signaling him to wait while she grabbed her headphones and plugged them in.

"I've missed you so much." She gushed, willing the tears of joy that were already gathering in her eyes to stay just where they were. Happy tears or sad tears – she knew tears in general would just worry Finn.

"Me too, Rach" he said earnestly. "They finally let us use our laptops and phones today! I couldn't believe you were actually on when I signed on. I was so excited; I just sat there and stared at your name on there for like, a good five minutes before I actually called you." He was talking a million words a minute, but she was just glad he was every bit excited and nervous as she was.

She stared at his face while he continued talking, telling her about his daily schedule and how hard he's been working. He looked so different. His hair was much shorter. And his features seemed more chiseled. And, _God_, his muscles were practically popping out from the worn, white wife-beater he was wearing.

"You look so hot!" She blurted, before she could even tell what she was saying.

A small smirk appeared on his face as he leaned in closer to the webcam, "Am I turning you on, Rachel Berry?" he asked in a husky, seductive tone. Rachel's face went from a slight shade to a flaming red within seconds.

"When are you coming home, Finn?" She croaked, unable to think of another, comprehensible sentence.

A wry smile appeared on Finn's face as he told her wasn't sure just yet, things weren't going as they had initially planned around here.

"Are you happy there? Do you like it?" If she was suffering _this_ much without him, he'd better be happy, she thought.

"I love it! I feel like I'm actually good at something for once, you know? Like, at school I sucked. And yeah I was okay at Glee and football but I wasn't phenomenal – like you are. I finally feel phenomenal at something, and it feels _so_ good." He was quiet for a beat, before he continued, looking right into the camera. "Being this good at something finally makes me feel like I'm good enough for you. Like I finally deserve you."

"Finn, you were always good enough for me. Always. Don't ever doubt that, okay?"

She knew he'd never believe it, but throughout their entire relationship in high school, she always felt like _she_ wasn't good enough for _him._ It was odd seeing him believe something so different.

Finn looked away from the camera, speaking to someone before he turned back to her, a painful expression on plastered on his face.

"I gotta go, babe. It's Drill Sergeant Time. I miss you so much. And I love you."

Rachel repeated the sentiments, making sure that the webcam was turned off before allowing the tears that had been pooling in her eyes for a while to make their way done her face.

* * *

Finn glanced at the clock, irritated as he realized he still had two hours to sleep before he had to wake up for training. For what seemed like a million years now, Finn lay awake restless in bed, unable to sleep after the dream he'd just had. Because every time he tried to even just shut his eyes, all he saw was _her_ tiny body on top of some larger, male body; her hands running down his back as her mouth was attached to his.

He felt like an asshole for even thinking of this. He had no idea where this nightmare had even come from; he _knew_ Rachel. He knew she wouldn't cheat on him. He knew she wasn't fooling around with other boys while he was stuck here. He knew it all from the look in her eyes today as she told him she loved him. But he still couldn't shake his dream away – it was beginning to haunt him.

Sighing, he glanced at the clock, realizing he had just a little over an hour left to sleep and forced his eyes shut. He'd talk to her tomorrow, he thought. He'd see her, and he'd know she's being faithful to him. He just knew.

Thanking God for his somewhat lenient Commander's negligence to collect phones before they'd gone to sleep, he grabbed it from under his pillow and texted a simple 'I love you' to Rachel. He was already feeling better.

* * *

Rachel sat in her pink-clad bed, unable to concentrate on the paper she had to write for her Introduction to Literature and Music Materials class. All her brain could recognize at the moment was how hungry she was. Lost in her excitement about _finally_ talking to Finn last night, she could barely eat.

Her stomach flip-flopped as she heard the same ringtone that had left her frozen yesterday. She raced down to the green tab and excitedly hit the 'accept call' button.

"Finn!" She was so unbelievably excited. Getting to talk to him two days in a row after spending weeks with no connection to him was doing weird things to her.

He chuckled a little. "Hey Rach. What are you doing?"

A large frown took over her face as she explained her dreadful assignment, making small complaints about school and auditions for plays along the way.

"Hey, at least you're living your dream, right?" She sighed, contentedly. Yes. Yes, she truly _was_ living her dream. She was attending Juilliard. She was living in New York City. She went to Broadway more than five times already. And most importantly, she was making friends; people who she connected to on all different levels. People who understood her. All she was missing was Finn.

"I can't wait for you to come visit me here. You can meet my friends, see my dorm, we can go to see a Broadway show, and we can have a picnic at Central Park. It'll be perfect!"

He smiled wistfully, "Yeah, it might be a while though. They're uhh…" Finn paused for a second and Rachel's heart started beating fanatically. "With all the stuff going on in the Middle East right now, with like Libya and stuff… they might send us there like, uh… like in a week or two. Which means I won't come home for at least another six months."

"I thought that they were coming back from a deployment, so you'd be here, _safe_, for at least the next year…" Rachel's heart started pounding wildly, and her head started spinning. _He wouldn't be coming home for another six months?_ She couldn't handle the thought of him being in a place Libya, where bombs and shootings were becoming the norm as of late.

"Yeah, things don't always go as planned." She could tell by his pained expression that he was just as unhappy with this as she was.

Holding back her tears, she let out a soft "oh" before turning her attention to the golden-haired boy standing in her doorway.

"Hey Nate." She watched as the he walked in closer to her, noticing the tears forming in her eyes as concern grew in his very own.

"Hey, I was going to ask if you wanted to come grab some lunch? … Are you okay?" She nodded softly, telling him she'd meet him in the cafeteria in five minutes.

She waited till he was gone before turning to face Finn again, earning a questioning look from him.

"Who was that?" She couldn't help but cringe at the edge to his voice.

"That was my friend, Nate. We were just about to go out for lunch. I'll uh, I'll talk to you later. Love you" She stumbled on her words, unable to keep her voice void of all the emotions she was feeling.

He barely got through his "I love you, too" before she logged off, a sob escaping her lungs.

* * *

Finn sighed as he turned his laptop on, noticing that yet again, Rachel wasn't online.

Their last two conversations hadn't gone as planned, and as of late, she hadn't even signed on.

There was that one conversation almost two months ago, when he'd told her he was being deployed to the Middle East. She looked heartbroken and he so badly just wanted to reach out to her, hold her and tell her that it'd be okay. He'd be safe. But that conversation had ended abruptly when he heard a boy's voice, asking her to lunch (which certainly had not helped the uneasiness he felt ever since he'd had that dream). He knew he'd acted like a jerk when he'd heard the boy's voice. He knew from the way she cringed when he asked who that was that that she was hurt by the way he had asked. But he couldn't help it; it had kind of just escaped him. And she left so fast, he didn't even get to apologize for it.

And then the second, and most recent time they'd talked, it had ended just as badly. He'd been sitting in his pod, talking to her for the first time in weeks when she heard gun shots. He watched as her eyes grew in fear, and told her he had to go. He knew she was already terrified for his safety; hearing the gun shots would only make it infinitely worse.

That was a month ago.

With a flicker in his heart, he noticed her icon turn green as she signed on. With excitement running through his body, he called her. And when she didn't pick up, he called again. And again. Until she signed off, without so much as saying even one word to him.

He felt his heart plummet. It had been a month since they'd last talked, and when they finally got the chance to, she ignored him. What the hell did that even mean?

Determinedly, he picked up his phone and texted Kurt. _What the hell's going on with Rachel? She won't pick up my calls, and she won't call me either. Why is she avoiding me?_

He knew he was being a little bit over-reactive. Maybe she was just busy. Maybe she got a role in one of the plays she auditioned for and has a lot do right now?

But deep down inside, he knew it was more than that. She couldn't have been busy all month long. There had to have been a minute or two where she was free enough to call, or Skype – hell, even just text him. Instead she had chosen to ignore _his_ calls and texts.

Minutes later, his phone dinged and he picked it up to read Kurt's reply. _I don't know what to say, Finn. She isn't doing too well. I'd leave her alone for a little while if I were you. For now, I'm transferring to NYU to live with her. Don't be worried though, she'll be okay. _

Finn's heart sank even more. What did he mean by "she isn't doing too well"? Was she sick? Was it bad enough to make Kurt transfer schools? Why hadn't anyone told her before?

Angrily, Finn punched the wall next to him as he realized that he'd been having that uneasy feeling for so long for all the wrong reasons.

* * *

Rachel lay in her bed, digging herself into a deeper and deeper hole of depression; a hole she had no idea how to climb out of.

She missed Finn. She missed Finn_ so _much. But she couldn't talk to him. Talking to him led to constantly worrying for him and his safety. And in the past two month, the significance of that stress had begun to show itself through her declining grades and GPA. So, at the advice from her psychologist, parents and Kurt, she decided to take a break from Finn.

But she had done that all wrong too. She hadn't said anything to him, she just stopped talking to him. When he texted her, she deleted the text before reading it. When he called, she hit ignore as fast as she could, refusing to listen to the voicemails that were piling up in her inbox. And she basically stopped even signing on to Skype. She knew she was hurting him; she's pretty sure, though, that this is hurting her just a little bit more.

All she knew for the time being was that she needed someone to help her dig herself out of this mess. And she was hoping, wishing, praying that that someone would be Kurt, once he got here.

She shielded her eyes as her door creaked open, letting in light to her otherwise dark room.

"Alright," she heard a familiar voice. "Time to get out of bed, Rach. You've been in here for too long. Now, I've _got Breakfast At Tiffany's_ and vegan Chinese food."

As he flicked the light on, she came face to face with her golden-haired friend.

He smiled at her before throwing the DVD into her player.

She watched as he made room for himself on her cluttered bed, and let out a small smile.

She guessed she could make-do with Nate until Kurt came.

**A/N: Hey! Sorry, I know it took me a while to write this chapter. I got a little busy writing a one-shot called **_**We've Only Just Begun**_** =) If you guys are up for some Finchel-Fluff, you should definitely read it! I know this is all angst, but that's definitely a happier fic =D Anyway, hope you all liked it! Also, reviews are honestly the best! They encourage me to continue writing so much! =D So thanks to all who have reviewed, and don't forget to review this chapter 3**

**Until next time ...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show **_**Glee, **_**nor the characters. Just this story. **

Anger. That is the only word that can accurately describe what Finn Hudson's been feeling, lately.

He feels angry every time mail comes around the base, and he sits there, hoping against hope that maybe, just _maybe_ she had sent him something. He knows it's silly and cheesy, but when he'd made his decision to join the army, he kind of had envisioned her sending him his favorite cookies, or the latest issue of Sports Illustrated with a letter, sprayed with her perfume in typical Rachel Berry fashion to remind him of her every week or so; like they did in old movies. But, when his friends are sitting there with big, goofy smiles on their faces and small packages in their hands and Finn's left empty handed, he can't help but feel angry. Angry at her, for shutting him out and abandoning him completely for reasons still unknown to him. And anger at himself for allowing that tiny morsel of hope to raise when he sees the mail coming his way, when he's fully aware that it would be crushed in just two minutes, after all of the packages were distributed.

He's angry every time he signs on to Skype to talk to his mom or Kurt, and he sees she's signed on as well, neither one of them making a move to call the other. Because he's just not sure when they became these two people who avoided each other like the plague. His anger reaches a new level when he's video-chatting with Kurt, and he sees her tip-toeing in the background of the apartment the two share, attempting to shy away from the camera as much as possible. And he's not sure it's possible to get any angrier when he sees that same freaking dude from his and Rachel's first video-chat in the background with her. Every _freaking_ time.

He's angry every time he asks Kurt - sometimes in a subtle manner, sometimes not- why Rachel won't talk to him. Kurt's reply is always the same. "All you need to know is that it was the best thing for her. _And for you. _You may not see it now, but you will, someday." And each time, Finn is left more frustrated because really, what the hell kind of answer is that? Was it so hard for her to pick up the damn phone, or call him on Skype and just … break up with him? Her leaving him hanging the way she did without telling him why just fueled his anger and sometimes he just felt like he would explode any time soon.

But in the end, when his anger subsides, he's just left with disappointment. Disappointment in her. Disappointment in himself. But most of all, disappointment in what he _thought_ they could be, someday.

* * *

Wake up. Go to class. Go to rehearsal. Eat dinner with Kurt and Nate Homework. Shower. Sleep.

Wake up. Go to class. Go to rehearsal. Eat dinner with Kurt and Nate. Homework. Shower. Sleep.

And repeat.

This was Rachel Berry's life as of late, in as few words as possible. Between juggling classes, and rehearsals for a musical that was to be submitted to the Summer Play Festival, in hopes of it becoming an off-Broadway, or maybe even a Broadway production, she sometimes found it hard to find time to breathe.

But this is the life she had worked so hard for; this is what she was waiting for since she was five and had seen Wicked on Broadway for the very first time.

And she knew that it would have been impossible for her to get where she was if it wasn't for Kurt and Nate. She's still not sure what had happened to her between the months of September and January, Rachel had dug herself into the deepest, darkest hole of depression. Sure, she'd had bad days before – bad weeks, even. But this was different. This was worse. She could barely get out of bed some days because all she wanted to do was watch her computer screen, and wait for the green symbol to appear next to Finn's face, signifying that she could finally see his face and hear his voice again. But she never would call him. Nor would she pick up his calls. She just couldn't talk to him. The noises in the background, and sometimes his visible wounds scared her too much; she just needed to see that he was online to make sure that he was still alive. Soon, watching TV became impossible for her because every time she turned on the news, talk of wars and the Middle East would remind her of Finn, reducing her to tears. And every time she made the effort to go out, she'd just see someone clad in the green camouflage uniform she'd come to hate, forcing her to retreat back to her dark hole. So, in the end, she just stopped make the effort.

She stopped attempting to get out of bed. She stopped attempting to get A's in her classes. She stopped attempting to audition for roles that seemed to become less and less important as the days went by. She stopped attempting to go out, and see her friends. She stopped everything. It was like her life was on hold, for reasons unknown to her. All she wanted to do was sit in front of her laptop, and hope that soon, Finn would sign on and her world would be okay again. And that was working for her, until she got her grades for her first semester. And that's when shit hit the fan.

Her psychologist, dads _and _Kurt pounced on her, and made her stop this routine that was drowning her in her sorrows. She knew that Nate made a real effort to get her to snap out of it, but she just couldn't. It wasn't until Kurt and she moved together that she got her act back together. She got her grades back on track, and even landed a role in one of her friend's musicals. And now,four months later, she was finally living the life that was she was meant to be.

But every once in a while, when she finally got the chance to take a breather, her mind would always wander off to Finn. Was he doing okay? Did he hate her as much as she hated herself for cutting off all ties with him? Did he miss her as much as she missed him? Did he still like the army? Did he want to come home? If he did, would he still love her?

But she always stopped at that last question because, no, obviously he didn't still love her. In a way, she had put herself before him, and had abandoned him. She had no right to expect him to still love her. Not anymore.

But she'd still find herself bugging Kurt for the answers to her other questions because she simply just wanted to know how he was doing. Her efforts, however, were wasted. Because Kurt knew that in order for Rachel to stay on the track he'd worked so hard to get her on, she'd have to stay away from all thoughts of Finn.

She still couldn't help but let her cursor hover over the call button on Finn's username every time she saw that he was signed on. But then the sounds of guns and bombs would echo in her ear, she'd stop herself. Because, truthfully, she couldn't go back to that dark whole again. It was all too difficult to get out of, and Rachel wasn't sure if she could handle making her way out of it for a second time.

She just wished that the continuous, thudding pain in her heart would just go away. She knew she missed Finn; she didn't need the physical pain to prove it.

* * *

Finn Hudson couldn't even bother to hide his surprise when he got his first package. He knew who it was from the second he saw a tiny gold star on the left corner of the fairly large package and he could literally feel his heart swell. To say that he wasn't expecting this would simply be the understatement of the year.

He headed to a quieter corner before taking a seat on the floor. He wasn't sure what was in the package, but he knew why she'd sent it; his birthday was coming up next week and that was something she never forgot.

He tore open the box to find his favorite cookies; Rachel always made the best chocolate chip cookies. He threw one in his mouth, and could feel a weird, slow pain rise in his chest. He knew he was angry at her. And he had almost convinced himself that he hated her for doing this to him. But holding a box full of things that she'd sent him, all of them having her touch and smell linked to them, all he can think of is how damn much he misses her.

Setting the cookies aside, he grabbed the CD that was sitting in the box. In her swirly handwriting, she had written the list of songs on the back. He let out a heavy sigh as he realized the connection between all of the songs; they were all the duets the two had sung when they were in high school.

He then picked up the two shirts that were neatly folded in the box. He unfolded the purple one first that read New York University at the top. He smiled, wondering if Kurt had sent that, or if Rachel had just added it for Kurt. The second shirt was a royal red, Julliard written in the front.

With trembling hands, he picked up the card that she'd sent. They hadn't talked in over four months; what would she say?

He opened the card, surprised to find just a few words scrawled onto the page.

_Happy Birthday, Finn._

_I wish you nothing but success in everything you do. _

_I'm so sorry about everything. I'll always love you._

_Rachel._

Finn could feel his eyes glaze over, and he blinked a few times to stop the tears from making their way to his face.

Before he could think about what he was doing, he tossed everything back in the box with the exception of Kurt's NYU shirt and made his way to the trash can. He couldn't hold on to this; he couldn't hold on to her. Not anymore. Not when she didn't want him to.

Without putting a second thought to it, he dumped the contents of the box into the garbage can, and made his way back to his tent.

He couldn't be reminded of her. He had to let go of her.

**A/N: Sorry it always takes me a week to put a chapter up! I'm such a procrastinator! I promise I'll try to have the next one up sooner! Also, thanks to all of you who have reviewed this, and put it on your alerts and favorites lists! Seriously, thank you so much! Don't forget to review this chapter =) Reviews = Love!**

**Until next time … **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show **_**Glee, **_**nor the characters. Just this story. **

It's the summer of her sophomore year when Rachel lets herself think about Finn Hudson for the first time in year. Like, really think about him.

Sure, she's aware every day of the continuous, thudding pain she feels in heart from the lack of his presence in her life. But she's sort of just gotten used to it know. It's there when she wakes up every morning, and it's there when she goes to sleep at night. But she never lets herself dwell on that pain, or think about its source for more than a second because she knows that that dull, thudding pain in her chest would become a monstrous, agonizing ache if she did. And it would simply be too easy to fall back into that deep whole she once found herself in. And she couldn't do that to herself again.

Without really thinking about it, Rachel found herself reaching for a box labeled 'Finn' at the very top of her closet, and brought it down anxiously.

With nervous, shaking hands she tugged at the flaps of the box, opening it to reveal a picture frame on the very top. It was the two of them on graduation day, and Rachel swears she hasn't seen herself look that happy ever since. He's wearing that half-smile that he always used to reserve just for her, and his giant arms are encasing her, holding her close to him.

She feels tears well up in her eyes, as her brain starts screaming _put it all away. Don't risk the drowning in the darkness again. You've done so well for so long. Don't go back._ But her hands seem to have a mind of their own as she set the picture frame aside, and picked up Finn's old McKinley shirt. She brought it to her face, and realized with a startle that his scent had somehow managed to still linger on the piece of fabric. Still clutching the shirt in her hand, she sifted through the rest of the box, smiling through her tears at their memorabilia. Pictures of the two of them from Prom and the summer before college were scattered throughout the box, along with the tiny Finn necklace that once adorned her neck. It wasn't until she started flipping through her yearbook did the tears begin to make their way down her face. She found her way to the last page of the book, letting out a soft sob as she read the message he'd written to her three years ago.

_Rach, _

_These last two years with you have been the best years of my life, and I swear I'm not just saying that because that's what boyfriends are supposed to say. You believed in me when no one else did, and you made me believe in myself; I'm not sure I could ever find a way to thank you for that. I love you so much and I know that this distance is gonna be nothing for us 'cuz we're Finchel and our love can conquer everything (cheesy, I know). I love you so much, Rach. _

_I'm forever yours, faithfully._

_Finn_

Rachel re-read the words, remembering how he'd ask to write in her year book absolutely last because his message was just for the two of them, and he didn't want anyone else to read it. "It's so cheesy, it's border-line embarrassing" he had said, "But it's all true."

Amazed at the smile playing on her lips as she thought of him, rather than the darkness she'd become so familiar to, she suddenly felt a yearning to see Finn. For the first time in too long, rather than feeling depressed at the thought of him, she felt elated. She felt love instead of regret. She felt like if she saw him, then maybe, just maybe things could work out again. Because, in the end, after all of this time, she still loves him. And as she flitted her eyes back to the writing on her yearbook, she was pretty sure he loves her still, too. Their love wasn't the kind you could forget, or move past from. Their love was the kind that could last through anything.

Subconsciously, Rachel found her fingers typing away at her laptop, booking a plan out to Columbus Port Columbus International Airport … for tomorrow.

She could do this, she thought. She could see him without falling back into that dark, black hole. In fact, it was almost as if she _needed_ to see him to prevent herself from falling back into that dark, black hole.

xx

Collapsing on the uncomfortable hotel bed, Rachel finally let her brain catch up with her actions.

She was in Ohio. Actually, scratch that, she was in Lima. And after forgetting that her dads no longer lived in Ohio, but instead in New York, she had to find a hotel room, last minute.

No one knew where she was, either. She didn't want to call Nate or Kurt, who was also in Lima, beforehand because she knew they'd talk her out of this. And she couldn't let them do that, because she _had_ to do this. She _had_ to find Finn, and starting with Lima seemed like the obvious first step.

Grabbing her phone, she checked the time. 12 pm. So, she'd take a warm shower to calm her nerves, and then head over to the Hummel-Hudson household.

She can't be too sure of what Carole knows of her and Finn's relationship, or lack thereof, but she's hoping that the woman who had become somewhat of a mother to her would still be fond of her.

Rachel shifted on the stiff bed, making an effort to get up and make her way to the shower. But she can't. Now that her brain was all caught up, her nerves had taken over her whole body, nearly paralyzing her. _What was she doing here?_ It's been two years – could she really expect Finn to wait for her for two years? What if he's already moved on? What if he has a girlfriend? What if he just doesn't love her anymore?

Before she could think of anything else that would stop her from beginning her trek to find Finn Hudson, Rachel fished through her bag for her yearbook. The words in that book were the only thing that would keep her going. Those words were sacred. And she knew, she just knew that those words would still be true.

xx

It's a little after five when Rachel finally makes her way out of her hotel room. It's still quite light out, and for once, she's grateful for Lima's small-town nature as she starts her walk.

She's still not sure what she'll say to Carole. Or worse, Finn if somehow, he's home. She's just hoping to take it by ear, kind of how she's done with this whole trip.

More than anything, though, she's hoping Kurt won't be home, because she knows the lectures she'll have to face about how she's being irresponsible, and the "have you even talked to your therapist about this?" that'll be thrown her way. She can't be faced with rationale and logic at the moment, because she's aware of how very un-like herself she's being currently. The only explanation she can come up with for anything is just that she _has_ to do this. There's simply no way around it.

She's too close to Finn's street too soon and her nerves are slowly making her way back to her body. She's almost scared now. She's almost banking on the fact that Finn won't be home … but what if he is? What if this is the beginning _and _the end of her trek to find him? What if he doesn't want to see her? How will she even explain what she went through? What if already knows? Maybe Kurt told him, already.

As her legs continue to move despite her brains protests, she can begin to see cars lined up and down Finn's street, and colorful balloons attached to his mailbox. She wonders what's going on – perhaps it's Carole or Burt's birthday, she thinks. Maybe she should have called first.

All thoughts leave her mind, though, as she sees Finn's tall frame leaned over the railing. He has a drink in his hand, a sullen expression covering his features. He looks sad; it's automatically the first thing she noticed. His eyes look dull, the spark that was always there, now gone. Unsure of what to do, she begins to move towards him. She came all this way to see _him_; she couldn't just spend the entire time watching him from afar.

But then freezes, as she sees a swish of blonde hair make its way to Finn's tall body, grabbing his hand. Rachel crouched behind a blue car parked in the driveway, hoping the two people on the porch wouldn't be able to see her.

"Finn, could you please get inside?" Rachel automatically recognized who the snappy voice belonged to. Quinn.

Finn grunted in response, provoking Quinn to continue. "This is our engagement party, Finn. The least you could do is at least pretend to _look_ happy."

The door slammed and Rachel peeked from her hiding spot, grateful that the two had made their way inside as a sob escaped her quivering lips.

She was stupid. She was so very stupid. How could she have expected him to wait for her? It's been a year and half since she'd last talked to him; obviously he had to move on. And those 'sacred words' in her yearbook? He wrote those years ago – how could she have expected for him to still have meant them. She's so, so stupid.

She jumped from behind the car, and raced down the driveway, and down the street. She had to get out of here. She had to get away from all of this before the darkness caught up to her.

She ran the short distance from Finn's house to her hotel, silent tears making their way down her face faster and faster the closer she got to the hotel.

It's only when she was finally in the safety of her own room that she allowed the violent, shaking sobs to escape her body. With a trembling hand, she took a hold of her phone, her fingers automatically punching in a familiar number without a second thought.

"Nate…" she whispers into her phone, unable to keep the emotion out of her voice.

"Rach? Are you okay?" She can tell he's already too concerned, and she feels worse. She should have told him she was coming here beforehand, and she should have listened to him when he told her this would be a very, very bad idea.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay. I just … do you want to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's?"

She hears him chuckle. "Rach, I'm in California right now, you know that." _Yeah, and I'm in Ohio, _she thought. _But you don't need to know that._

"I know. But if you watch on your laptop, and I watch on mine, and we talk on the phone, then it'll almost be like we're watching it together." Her voice sounds so small, and she hates it because she knows it'll just worry him even more.

But she can feel him smiling through the phone and that spreads some sort of warmth through her body. "Okay, I'm gonna put it in right now. Are you ready?"

"Mhm."

She was quiet for a while before she spoke up again, her voice already becoming more stable. "I love when she stands in front of Tiffany's like this."

Nate let out a chuckle again. "I know you do, Rach" he said softly. He waited a couple of seconds before asking, "Are you feeling better now?"

She smiled, "Yeah, I am. Thanks, Nate."

And just like that, she knew she'd be okay. She wouldn't let that darkness control her life again. She has Nate, and she has Kurt, and they're all she'll ever need. They'll keep her out of the darkness.

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading, reviewing, favorite-ing and alerting guys! You are all seriously the best! I know this was sad and angsty, I apologize =( I hope you all liked it, though! Please don't forget to review! Best encourager to keep me going, ever! **

**Until next time … **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show **_**Glee, **_**nor the characters. Just this story. **

"Kurt, what is your problem? Will you stop pacing and being so fidgety?" Rachel snapped as he took his fifteenth lap of the room.

Ever since Kurt had gotten off of the phone an hour ago, he'd been unable to sit still for more than five seconds, walking from one corner of the room to the other, muttering incoherent fragments under his breath. Slowly, he made his way from the balcony to the couch, shrugging bits of snow off his shoulder.

"Okay. I have to tell you something … or ask, really. Just know that you can say no if you want to. I won't mind, I promise." He spat, earning a questioning look from Rachel.

"Carole just called me. She wants to come here to visit over winter break."

Rachel's eyes lit up. Carole was one of those people she'd always feel comfortable around, regardless of all that's happened in the past. She treated Rachel like she was one of her own, and she'd always be grateful for that.

"That's great!" Rachel said, unable to contain the excitement in her voice. "Burt's coming too, right?"

"Yes." He paused, "But they want to bring Finn, too. They want a family reunion, of sorts."

Rachel froze. She hadn't allowed herself to think of Finn since May when she'd taken her impromptu trip to Ohio. She hadn't let herself dwell on the swelling pain she felt every time she felt at the thought of him and _her. _She just couldn't.

She looked at Kurt's hopeful yet apologetic face and let the guilt seep through her body. He shouldn't have to be this hesitant to let his family visit him, at his _own_ house. At least not because of her.

"Kurt, of course they can visit. This is just as much your home as it is mine."

"Are you sure? I mean, you know with everything …"

"I'm absolutely positive." She nodded, "You've done so much for me in the last few years, Kurt. This is the least I could do for you. Plus, it really shouldn't be too bad; I'll rarely be home in between classes, homework and rehearsals for the _West Side Story_" she said, smiling wide.

Kurt let his mouth hang agape as he processed her words. "Tell me you got the role of Maria!"

Rachel nodded, her smile growing infinitely wider as Kurt tackled her, throwing a million 'congratulations' her way.

She'd be okay, she decided. She had Kurt. She had Nate. She had her dads if something went terribly wrong. And she had the role of Maria. Yeah, she'd be okay; seeing Finn wouldn't break her this time.

* * *

Finn hated just about everything right now. He hated planes, he hated that Quinn was sleeping on his left arm, making it feel all awkward and tingly, he hated that he was so hungry but the airplane food was so damn expensive, he hated the dumb movie that was on TV right now; _Dear _freaking _John_. He hated that in less than an hour, he'd be face to face with a girl he hadn't talked to in over two years.

Even more, though, he hated that just the thought of seeing that girl was giving him inexplicable butterflies in the pit of his stomach.

He shifted towards his right as the Manhattan skyline came into view. The buildings and lights got bigger and brighter as the plane descended towards the airport, and Finn was finally able to understand Rachel's obsession with this place. It was enchanting; he hadn't even touched the ground and he already felt inspired.

Feeling Quinn stir, he turned around to meet her sleepy eyes.

"How much longer till we land?" she asked, stretching her arms over her head.

He shrugged, "Ten minutes, I think."

"Ten minutes? Finn, I told you to wake me up thirty minutes before we landed so I could freshen up." She snapped, and Finn let out a tired sigh.

"Sorry, I forgot." He mumbled, already tired of her voice.

"Of course you did. You're tiny brain is obviously incapable of remembering _anything_ that doesn't have to do with food and video games" She said, the usual venom thick in her voice as she stood, making her way to the bathroom.

He knew when she asked if she could tag along on their trip to New York, he should have said no. But he also knew if he _did_ say no, she would have forced herself on this trip one way or another. The word "compromise" seemed to have disappeared from Quinn's dictionary since they'd gotten engaged.

He turned back to the window, surprised that for once, Quinn's seething words had no effect on him. He wasn't sure if it was the city, or the tiny brunette who lived_ in _the city that had this effect on him, but he still felt inspired; like somehow, something good could come out of this disastrous trip.

* * *

"Finn, did you fall on your head or something? Or did being in the army make you completely insensitive towards other people's feelings?" Kurt bit, anger seething in his eyes.

Finn let out a sigh; he could tell by the look in Kurt's eyes as he picked the group up from the airport that this was coming. He was actually surprised Kurt had managed to contain this outbreak until they got home; he half expected him to leave Quinn at the airport. "Look, I tried to get her to stay home, I really did. She just wouldn't take no for an answer."

"Oh, please, Finn. Where the hell did you lose your balls? You _know_ I share this apartment with Rachel. Why in the world would you think it's acceptable to bring Quinn? And without any notice! If you really couldn't stop the wicked witch, the least you could have done was let me know. I would have prepared Rachel, or sent her somewhere or … or, something." The exasperation in Kurt's voice was evident. But the truth was, he had a feeling Kurt would send Rachel off somewhere if he knew Quinn was coming. And for reasons still unknown to him, he didn't want that. He wanted to see her. He wanted to see what she was up to. He wanted to talk to her. Because despite how much she'd hurt him, a little part of him still missed and loved her.

"Well," Kurt said after a minute of silence, "I suppose Carole and dad can sleep in my room, you and Quinn can sleep on the sofa-bed in the living room, and I'll sleep with Rachel in her room."

"How … uh, how is Rachel anyway?" Finn asked, taking advantage of the fact that Quinn wasn't around.

"She's fabulous. She got the role of Maria in her school's production of the _West Side Story!" _Kurt replied, his eyes shining. Finn felt a tug at his chest as he realized how proud Kurt looked. Rachel was one of those people who could crush his heart into a million pieces a thousand times and he still wouldn't be able to wish bad things for her. No, he'd just be her biggest fan till the day he died.

* * *

Rachel Berry was having a good day. A perfect day, in fact. She'd gone to her first rehearsal where everything had gone brilliantly. Following rehearsal, she went to her favorite vegan restaurant with Nate; going with him to Barney's afterwards to help him chose a birthday gift for his mom before she went home to get ready for his mom's birthday party. She lived for days like these, where she could replace class with rehearsals, parties and an unlimited supply of champagne.

She felt Nate's fingers lace with hers as she leaned back into him, shifting in the uncomfortable seat of the cab.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear, letting his lips fall to the top of her head.

She squeezed his hand. "I know you do, Nate."

He chuckled a little, "Are you ever gonna say it back, Rach?" She knew it was the alcohol talking but he sounded desperate almost, and a tinge of guilt entered her body. She knew it was always one step forward, two steps back with them and she was _always_ to blame. She'd raise his hopes with a kiss or two on nights like these, and then would retreat to her hole the next day, leaving him high and dry. But she felt a tiny flicker of _that _feeling when it came to Nate. _That _feeling she felt when she thought of a certain brown headed boy. The feeling that made her feel like a tiny school girl. The feeling that made her feel protected and loved. The feeling that made he feel like she belonged. And she loved that feeling.

She loved Nate, too. She did. She just didn't feel like she had it in her to fall in love again the way she did before. She wasn't capable of having those feelings anymore. And to tell Nate that she loved him when she was fully aware that she'd never be able to _really_ give him her all would be unfair. So for now, she just whispered a "someday in his ear" before a dropping a kiss on his cheek.

She let her eyes shut, only forcing them open when she felt Nate move in his seat next to her. She watched as he made his way around the taxi, opening the door for her. She took his hand, stepping out of the car and put her arms around his waist.

"Thanks for tonight, Nate. It was a lot of fun."

"Nah, thanks for coming. These parties tend to get boring without you."

He walked her to her door, "I love you, Rach." His eyes looked hopeful, and sloppy grin on his face.

She moved closer to him, leaving a chaste kiss on his lips before making her way up to her apartment.

She stumbled into her living room, surprised to find the sofa-bed occupied and the house dark. She tiptoed to Kurt's room silently, only to find the door locked. He _always_ stayed up for her.

Confused, she made her way to her room, finally finding Kurt sprawled on her bed, _Sex and the City_ playing on her TV.

"Kurt! What are you doing here? Who's in your room?" She was going crazy, she thought. Maybe it was time to stop taking advantage of the open bar.

"My parents came today, remember. I gave them my room to sleep in."

Her heart dropped. How had she forgotten? "Oh right. Did you know there are people sleeping in our living room, too?" She said, her eyes widening a little as she tripped, falling onto the bed.

"Uhm, well … actually Rach, I have to tell you something about that."

As Kurt began talking, Rachel felt unwanted tears forming in her eyes. _So much for her 'perfect day', _she thought.

**A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I love the reviews/alerts/favorites! Makes me increddddiibly happy! Seriously, I love all of you! Thanks so much! Alright, get ready for some drama! And don't forget to review, please! **

**Also, sorry I've had to upload this chapter, and the last one twice! I tried to open this page and it just refused, showing an error page every time so I didn't know if you all could as it as well so I just re-uploaded it :\ Sorry guys for the double emails and whatnot! **

**Until next time … **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show **_**Glee, **_**nor the characters. Just this story. **

The first thing she noticed when she woke up was the sleeping body that was lying next to her in her bed; who the hell was sleeping in her bed?

The second thing she noticed was the excruciating pounding in her head, and she swore right then and there that she'd never drink again, to which her head screamed out '_bullshit'._

With tremendous effort, she picked up her heavy head and squinted at the sleeping form next to her. Kurt? What was he doing in her bed?

And then it hit her. Last night. Her conversation with Kurt. Finn. _Quinn_. Those damn silent tears that didn't stop until she finally, finally fell asleep.

All of a sudden, she felt like she was suffocating. She kicked the blankets off, in an attempt to get some air but it was useless. She needed to get out of the house. She desperately needed to get some air.

She shook Kurt's shoulder, attempting to wake him. "Kurt, listen. I'm going to go to rehearsal early."

Kurt's eyes snapped open as he shifted, facing her. "No, you can't! I convinced Carole to make those pancakes for you this morning that you love! She's been dying to see you from the minute she got here yesterday."

"Kurt … I just. I can't. Not now, at least. Tell Carole I am _so_ sorry and I promise to make it up to her. I just need to get out of here." Her voice cracked at the end, her voice barely audible. She watched as Kurt's face softened, and she knew he could see the visible desperation clouding her eyes.

Kurt nodded, "I'm so sorry about all of this, Rach."

Rachel shook her head benevolently. She didn't want him to apologize, he did nothing wrong. "No, stop. You're allowed to have your family over, Kurt. And that family now includes Finn _and _Quinn. And I swear, I'll be able to deal with it. I just … I just can't right now. I need some time, you know. To adjust."

"Where are you going to go?" Asked Kurt, his hand flying to the side table in search of his cell phone. "It's eight in the morning; you don't have rehearsal till one."

"I was thinking I'd take a walk around Central Park. Maybe go over to Nate's for breakfast once he's awake." She said, running around her room despite her throbbing headache, throwing on a sweatshirt and tights.

She raced to Kurt's side of the bed, laying a kiss on the side of his face. "Tell Carole I really am sorry." She whispered in his ear before tip-toeing her way out of the apartment. She let out a sigh of relief as she felt the cold, winter wind bit her face. She hated being a coward, but she just _couldn't _face the two of them together. Not now.

* * *

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was how very cold he was; winter time was no joke in New York. He clenched the blanket in his fist, bringing it closer to his face as he felt Quinn's slender arms slither around his waist. He smiled as he heard a tiny snore escape her mouth; she was always so much more bearable when she was asleep. He stretched his arms over his head as he climbed out of bed, his feet thwacking on the wooden floor as he made his way to the bathroom. Jumping in the shower, he let the hot water run down his body as he let his mind wander.

He'd meet Rachel for the first time in years in just a few minutes. What would he say? What would _she _say? Would they say anything at all? Or would they just awkwardly ignore each other? Would she be hurt that he was with Quinn now? Or would she not care at all? Considering _she_ was the reason they were no longer together.

He turned off the water, and took in a deep breath. This was it. He was going to see her. He was going to talk to her. He was (hopefully) going to get some answers for the questions that had plagued his mind for too long now.

He'd let her know just how angry he was. But he wouldn't let her see just how vulnerable she'd left him. He couldn't show her how much she'd broken him. He'd have to be stronger than that.

Slipping on his sweatshirt and jeans, he unlocked the door, opening it with a slow creak. He felt the smell of pancakes fill his nostrils instantly and smiled. His mom's pancakes were always his favorite.

He sat at the breakfast table, tapping his feet in anticipation. What would she look like now? Did she change? Did she still wear legwarmers? And those sweaters with cute animals on them?

"Will you stop making so much noise, Finn?" Quinn snapped, seating herself next to him. "You're beginning to irritate me." She said, and he snorted because really, when was he _not _irritating her? He felt her pull her chair closer to his, placing her hand on his knee. He had a feeling this was the reason she was so adamant on coming to New York with them – so she could make sure Rachel knew who he belonged her. Because really, she never wanted to hold his hand or sit so close to him normally.

"Okay, so eat up everyone because we have a long day scheduled. I was thinking we go to the MoMA first" Kurt said, walking into the kitchen, wrapping a plaid scarf around his neck.

Confused, Finn cut in before Kurt could continue. "What the hell is a MoMA?"

"The Museum of Modern Arts, Finn" Kurt explain, rolling his eyes at his brother. "And then, we can go for a walk in Central Park because it is just lovely, from where we can head towards Fifth Avenue, because Carole and Quinn, you two just _have _to see the stores there! We took Mercedes when she came and she nearly fainted at the sight of all those beautiful clothes and…" Kurt continued with his extravagant schedule for the day as Finn searched the room for Rachel. Where was she?

"Will Rachel be joining us? Carole asked, looking at Kurt hopefully. He felt Quinn shift in her seat on his right, tightening her grip on his knee and arm.

"Oh, Rachel won't be able to make it for today's festivities. She's already gone to rehearsals, and she'll be there all day." He watched as his mother's face fell, and felt his own emulate hers.

"That's too bad. I miss that girl." Carole said, and Finn couldn't help but think _you and I both, mom. _

"Hey guys, mind if I skip out on the 'MoMA'?" Finn laughed. MoMA. What kind of shit was that? Judging by the name, it was definitely something Kurt, Quinn and his mom would enjoy more than he.

"Fine, Finn" Kurt said, releasing a tiny huff of frustration, "I'd rather you not go if you're going to whine while we're there anyway. But dad," Kurt refocused his attention to Burt who looked like he'd stuff half of a pancake in his mouth, "you're coming with us. We're stopping by some places that you'd like on the way." Burt simply nodded his head, directing his attention back to the heap of pancakes on his plate. "Finn, just meet us at Central Park in three hours. The directions to get there are pretty simply, I'll explain them to you before we leave."

Twenty minutes later, Finn waved 'bye' at the three as they left, making his way to the couch. He had three hours to spare while he was in New York freaking City! Without Quinn, he thought, for at least a little while. Maybe he'd go around Central Park a little early to clear his head. He'd have to see Rachel eventually; it was time he thought about what it was that he'd ask her.

* * *

To say that Rachel wasn't expecting her first encounter with Finn to be like this would be an understatement, really. She'd expected something dramatic. Perhaps she would have made a brilliant entrance wearing something beautiful, like that Marchesa gown she'd worn to one of Nate's parent's functions. Or, she'd run into him on top of the Empire State Building, in a fashion similar to that in _An Affair To Remember_. Although, really that wouldn't work because she never really had a reason to _be_ on top of the Empire State Building. But nonetheless, she'd expected something dramatic and climatic.

Instead, in the middle of her jog through Central Park, she found the painfully familiar, tall brown-headed boy sitting on a park bench by himself, staring at the clouds. She knew he hadn't seen her; he looked completely lost in thought.

She had two options at this point, she knew. She could run as fast as her size 7 feet would carry her back to the other side of this obscenely huge park, and he'd have no idea.

Or, she could use this opportunity to clear the air. She could find the courage she_ knew _she had in her to take a seat next to him and just talk to him. She could be the strong woman she knew herself to be.

And so she did. She crept slowly to the bench, filling the spot next to him. She allowed her eyes to linger on his face for a few seconds, noticing the tired wrinkles that had formed around his eyes. His eyes seemed darker, his hair shorter. Everything about him looked more mature. But she could still see the Finn she once knew, just in the way he was staring up at the clouds.

"Hi." She whispered. She watched as he turned to look at her, his eyes growing at the sight of her. He blinked a few times trying to understand how she got there, and she let out a small smile. Typical Finn.

"I was out for a run when I saw you. I figured, no time like the present, right?" A quick chuckle escaped her mouth, trying to ease the tension she could already feel surrounded the two of them.

"I … Rachel? I thought you had rehearsal?" He was fumbling with his words; he looked beyond confused, and nervous.

"I do. In an hour. I just … Kurt told me that Quinn was here too, last night. And I just … I couldn't. I couldn't face the two of you just yet. So I left before anyone woke up, and came here." She whispered her words, but she knew from his stare that he heard her.

"So, you know … about Quinn and me?" His voice was low, guarded almost. She simply nodded her head, unable to say anything else.

"How have you been?" She knew it was a silly question, but she just wanted to have a simple conversation with him. She didn't want his entire trip to be plagued by what they used to be. That ship had sailed. He had Quinn now, and while she wasn't sure if Nate had her or not, she undoubtedly had him.

He didn't answer for a minute, and Rachel felt all hope for a friendship between the two of them drain from her body. He didn't want to talk to her. And she could understand. She would leave from this park bench now, and she'd avoid her apartment for the next few days. And then, it would almost be as if this never happened. Their lives could go back to normal once again, without each other.

"Why'd you do it, Rachel? Why'd you just … just stop talking to me? No warning, or anything. You just stopped." She wasn't expecting this. She knew he'd have questions, and she knew she wouldn't know how to answer them. But she wasn't expecting them to come so quickly. And she wasn't expecting the anguish and pain, clear on his face and in his voice.

She looked down, feeling physically unable to look at him. She felt ashamed. She felt ashamed that she wasn't strong enough to keep the two of them together. She felt ashamed that was so weak that she'd let herself fall so low. She was ashamed that she was the reason behind his pain and anguish.

"I _had _to, Finn. I don't know how, or why, or even when … but I found myself in this deep hole of, of just darkness and depression. And I didn't know how to get out of it. I couldn't talk to you, because all of those noises in the background, and sometimes just the way you looked – the bruises and cuts – they would haunt me _all the time_. I couldn't handle seeing you out there so … so unsafe and unprotected. But I also couldn't leave my house or even my computer sometimes. I just wanted to lie in my bed and wait for that tiny green flag to show up next to your name, to let me know that you were safe. I stopped going to class. I didn't go to a single audition. I just felt like … like all of that was worthless if I didn't know if you were safe or not. It all just became so difficult, Finn. And I didn't know how to deal with it. And I hated myself for it, _so_ much. I hated that I was so weak. I hated that I couldn't talk to you. I hated that I forced Kurt to move so far from his family, and my dads so far from everything they knew and loved." She took a deep, ragged breath as a pool of tears welled in her eyes. She could see her breath in the air and goose bumps on the tiny bit of skin on her hands that her sweatshirt failed to cover. "I hated myself for all of it."

She turned around, and looked into Finn's eyes. She could see the cloud of confusion clearing away as pain took its place once again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugged, "I couldn't. You were so happy being in the Army. I couldn't take that away from you."

He shook his head, letting out a bitter chuckle. "Your plan fell through, Rach. I only did active duty for two years. I'm home now."

Her head snapped up, "I thought you only signed up for a two-year contract to make your mom happy. You were supposed to re-enlist." That was the plan, she thought. _That_ was the reason she couldn't keep living the way she did. She couldn't spend the next eight years of her life holed up in her bedroom.

She watched as his face fell, and he let out a sigh. "There were some complications. I couldn't re-enlist. There was a lot of bad timing involved."

"There truly was a lot of bad timing involved." She added, a sarcastic bitterness coating her voice before she stood up. "I have to go; I can't be late to rehearsal."

He stood up as well, his large body hovering over hers. "What did you mean? About the bad timing, I mean."

She turned away, unable to look at him. She hadn't told anyone. Not Kurt. Not Nate. Sometimes, she could barely admit to herself that what she saw really was reality. But, regardless of her attempts at an escape, reality had followed her; it was time to face it. "I came." Her voice was barely above a whisper, and suddenly her throat began to burn and feel raw as tears, once again, sprang up in her eyes. "To your engagement." She clarified. "I mean, I didn't know it was your engagement party … I just, I finally realized how stupid I was being. And I realized how desperately I wanted to see you, so I figured I'd begin my search at your house." Angrily, she wiped the tears that made their way down her face. Her emotions and body couldn't betray her, not now. "I guess I was too late."

And then she ran, because it was all she knew how to do. Run from her problems. Run from the darkness. Run from everything she couldn't handle. And she ran, all the way to her one place of solace; the stage.

**A/N: Okay. I don't know if I'm happy with that last scene but, *shrugs* what can you do? I do hope that you're all happy with it, though! They finally got to meet, and it was painful, I know. Maybe things will start to look better by the next chapter? Who knows :p Anyway, please please please review! All of your alerts/favorites/reviews make me **_**incredibly**_** happy. Of all things in my life, I look forward to them the most =) Haha, so please review and make my life happier! And thanks so much for reading!**

**Until next time …**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show **_**Glee, **_**nor the characters. Just this story. **

"So Rachel, tell me about this Nate you're always with." Carole said, walking into the living room after bidding her kids and husband goodbye as they left for another day of sightseeing. Rachel looked up in shock; how did Carole even know about Nate? She was always so careful to make sure he never came up in conversation around everyone, especially Finn. And she never once had him come over.

Carole watched as Rachel's face scrunched up in confusion, "Kurt told me about him." She clarified, taking a seat next to Rachel on the couch.

"Well, I honestly don't know how to explain exactly _what _Nate is, Carole. He's not my boyfriend. But he's more than just my best friend. He's nothing … but everything, at the same time, you know?"

Carole nodded her head understandingly as she scooted closer to Rachel, placing one hand on her knee. "I know, Kurt also told me about that, too. He said you wouldn't ever let Nate in, all the way through. And he said that he had a feeling that it had to do with Finn." She studied Rachel face for a moment before taking hold of Rachel's hand. "Rachel, it's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I just want you to know that I've been through what you're going through, before. And I'm here for you, whenever you need me."

Rachel could see the sympathy in Carole's eyes as she felt tears well up in her own. Rachel was good at bottling up her feelings, shunning them from anyone and everyone. _Especially_ her conflicted feelings for Nate, and her never-ending feelings for Finn. She wasn't used to opening up for someone; but the tugging pain at her heart begged her to allow someone in, just this once.

She let her head hit the back of the couch as she brought her feet up to the couch, tucking her chin on her knees. "I just feel like … like if I give into the feelings I have for Nate, then I'm being selfish, and unfair. I love him, I really do." She took a breath, allowing herself to admit the next words out loud for the first time in too long, "But I'm still in love with Finn. A part of me probably always will be. And Nate deserves someone who loves him, and only him. Someone who will put _him_ first, and will be able to give him everything he needs _and more._" She took a ragged breath, "I can't give myself to him, completely. I don't know if I'm even capable of it, anymore."

Carole turned to Rachel and silently wiped the stray tears that had made their way down her face. "You know, when Christopher died, I didn't think I would _ever_ love again. It hurt so much when I lost him that I avoided any sort of feeling for another man for fifteen years. I didn't want to love again, because I didn't want to hurt like that again. And I didn't think that I _could_ love again – I felt drained, just like you do, now; like I didn't have it in me to give myself to someone else again. And I didn't think it was fair of me to give someone just half of my heart when they deserved it whole. But then I met Burt, and things changed. I spent fifteen years thinking that I only had half a heart to offer, but Burt made me realize that isn't true. Christopher will always have a strong hold on my heart, but Burt is my life now. And I was able to give him everything I once gave to Christopher." Carole took in Rachel's slightly confused expression and smiled. "You may think that you can't love Nate because you still love Finn, but it isn't so, Rach. Give Nate a chance. It may take some time, but you'll get there. From what I hear, he's a superb boy. And chances are, if he's waited this long for you, he'll be waiting until you're ready for him. You deserve to be happy, Rachel." Carole kissed the top of Rachel's head. "So, it's just you and I tonight. I was thinking maybe you and I could go shopping!"

* * *

Rachel lay awake that night, tossing and turning from one side to the other, unable to sleep. She felt Kurt stir on her side, probably from her constant movement and willed herself to stay still. Just because her insane mind refused to rest tonight didn't mean that Kurt's shouldn't either.

She let Carole's words repeat themselves in her mind. Finn was happy with Quinn, now. Didn't she deserve to be happy? More importantly, didn't Nate deserve to be happy? _Could she make him happy?_ Carole had been able to make Burt unbelievably happy; did she have it in her to do the same for Nate?

Without thinking twice, Rachel found herself reaching for her cell phone. The bright numbers on the small device read 12:37 am. She dialed the all too familiar number, knowing he most like would still be awake, playing video games.

"Rachel Berry? What are you doing calling me at 12:30? Isn't it like, way past your bed time?" She let out an inelegant snort as she quietly lifted herself off of her bed, tip-toeing her way to the bathroom so to not disturb Kurt.

"I couldn't sleep." She said as she took a seat on the edge of the bathtub.

"Take a bath, those always make you sleepy." She could hear the quiet tapping of the videogame controller from the other end as she twisted the hot and cold water knobs until she came to a satisfying combination.

She began to pour the bubble bath soap into the tub as it started filling up.

"So, are you killing zombies again? Or are you playing that fun game where you hit baseballs by swinging the remote?"

She could feel his smile through the phone. "Zombies." She could hear him shuffle a little bit, "But I think I'm going to go to bed now. I'm exhausted."

She tried to hide the disappointment in her voice, "Oh, well then I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

She was about to tell him goodnight when his voice broke through the phone. "No, silly! I'm going to go lay in bed and talk to you until you're all done with your bath, and in bed ready to sleep."

Rachel smiled, slipping out of her shorts and tank top. "You don't have to do that, Nate. You sound tired; go sleep, I'll fall asleep eventually."

She could hear him stifle a yawn as he replied. "Nah, it's okay. I'd rather talk to you."

Her smile grew infinitely from his words as she slipped into the tub, relaxing her muscles.

"So, bubbles or no bubbles?"

"Bubbles. Always bubbles." She said, resting her head against the back of the bathtub, clutching the phone tight in her hand.

She let a minute of silence pass as she collected the courage to say the next few words. "Nate, do you want to go out tomorrow? Like … like on a real date?"

Rachel held her breathe as she waited for a response.

"A-are you sure, Rach?" She could sense the hesitancy in his tired voice, not entirely surprised at its existence. It was _her_, after all, who'd pushed him away for so long.

"I am. I'm sure." As soon as the words were out, she realized just how much she meant them. Finn had moved on to Quinn. It was time she moved on, too.

"Okay. Okay, tomorrow. Be ready for the best date of your life, Rachel Berry." She could sense the giddy smile in his voice and let one of her own out. She was ready. She was finally ready.

It was only an hour later that Nate was snoring on the phone, and Rachel was laughing because this … this boy was too cute. And he would probably be hers soon, too. If he'll have her.

* * *

Finn tossed in his bed for the fiftieth time that night, completely unable to fall asleep. He glanced at the clock on his right – 2:00 am; he'd been lying in bed for three hours now with not a wink of sleep. Slowly, he got out of bed making sure not to wake Quinn, and walked to the kitchen. Maybe some milk would help.

He padded to the kitchen, surprised to find the light on.

The second he saw the petite body and brunette hair perched on the counter-stool, a mug in her hands, his heart constricted. Ever since their conversation at Central Park, their exchanges had been limited to awkward glances.

He cleared his throat, catching her attention. She looked up, eyes wide as she realized who it was.

"Hi…" She looks scared, like she almost wants to run and hide but can't find the courage to make any sort of movement.

He nod at her awkwardly before walking to the fridge to pull out the gallon of milk. "What are you still doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep. You?" Her voice comes out quiet, and he hates how guarded she is when she's talking to him. How did they end up here? How did they become _this?_ These two people who were to awkward to even physically be in the same room as the other.

He guessed that didn't even matter, now. All that did matter was the he fix this, now. He couldn't go back into the past to fix all of this, but he could move forward.

He filled his mug to the rim with milk before setting it into the microwave. Kurt had gotten him addicted to warm milk.

He waited for it to beep before taking a seat next to Rachel. He watched as she made an attempt to gulp her own milk quickly, eyes looking anywhere but at him. She jumped off the stool, dropped her mug in the sink and started walking back to her room. _Without saying a word to him_, Finn thought bitterly.

"Rachel, can we just stop this already?" He shocked himself by his outburst, and watched as Rachel turned around slowly, eyes wider than ever.

"I'm sorry … I'm not sure what you're –"

He cut her off because, damn it, he was tired of this. He was tired of them pretending like nothing was wrong. He was tired of them pretending like the other didn't exist. He was tired of all of this bullshit.

He hopped off of his stool and made his way to her, noting how she retreated, taking a few steps back.

"We need to talk, Rachel. You can't just tell me that you came back to see me, and then run away and pretend like you said nothing at all to begin with."

She let out a defeated sigh, and walked past him back to the stool she was sitting on before. "What do you want to talk about, Finn? You're happy with Quinn. And I'm … I'm on my way to being happy. You'll leave tomorrow, and then we'll go back to the way we have been for a while, now."

Finn walked back towards the stool, choosing to hover over her rather than sit down. "Why, Rachel? Why should we go back to the way we have been for a while now? What we've been **sucks**. We act like we're freaking strangers when we used to be so, so much more. Why can't we be friends, Rach?"

She didn't say anything for a second, and he was convinced she was about to ignore everything he'd just said and walk back to her room.

"Do you think we can be friends, Finn? After _everything_, you think we can be friends?" Her voice wasn't bitter or sarcastic as he had suspected it would be. Instead, it was afraid and questioning.

He softened his tone from before. "I don't know. But we can try, Rachel. I don't want us to be the way we are now."

He watched in shock as she nodded her head in agreement. "Fine, friends?"

She stuck her hand out for him to shake it and he took it graciously.

He sat himself down on the stool next to her, and finally felt Rachel's icy exterior melt. "So, what have you been up to lately, Rach?"

She shrugged, "Not much, really."

He let out a snort, "Come on! You're Rachel freaking Berry. There's always stuff going on in your life. Tell me … How's school and your acting and stuff?"

He watched her smile grow as she began explaining the new role she'd landed in an off-off-Broadway production of _The West Side Story_, explaining how well rehearsals were going as of late. He stared at her brown eyes, shining brighter and brighter as she went into the details of her role as Maria. A shadow of a pink blush entered her cheeks and her hands began to fly crazy in the air.

Never more had he regretted that one night full of mistakes with Quinn that had led him to where he was now as he did right in this very moment. Because as she continued talking, he realized just how much he still loved Rachel Berry.

**A/N: Hi guys! Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up – I have AP Exams so I've been studying =( Anyway, I do hope you all liked this chapter. Finn and Rachel are taking baby steps, baby steps. Once again, thank you all SO SO SO much for the reviews/alerts/favorites. I love each and every one of you more than you can imagine! And thanks so much for continuing to read. So grateful for all of you! Also, don't forget to review ;) I love hearing what you guys feel/have to say! 333**

**Until next time … **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show,**_**Glee**_**nor the characters. Just this story.**

Fifteen months. That's the number of months it's been since he's last seen Rachel.

One hundred and seventy two. That the number of emails the two have exchanged since then.

The first time he emailed her, only days after he'd gotten back from New York, he didn't expect her to email him back despite their newly formed friendship. But she did reply, to his utmost surprise, and so he replied back, which resulted in another email back from her (which, in all honesty had surprised him even more than the first). And so began their tradition of weekly emails.

Sometimes, they talked about nothing. Short pleasantries; asking how the week went and how everyone was. Sometimes they talked about everything. Long endless conversations about how they felt about everything – life, love, dreams, aspiration; everything.

Somewhere in those meaningful conversations, the topic of them snuck up and attacked the two. And he had to admit, they tackled it well. He finally understood why she did what she did. And he no longer resented her (not that he ever really did, truthfully). She needed to do what she did for _herself,_ and he respected that. He was finally able to come to peace with everything.

His sudden understanding didn't mean that he missed her any less, though. He knew she was happy now with Nate, and he was happy _for _her. But he still had that vision of her – of them – together. Raising a family, living out their dreams … you know, going the whole nine yards. And that wasn't something he was willing to give up on, ever. Regardless of who was in her life, and who was in his. She was the first girl he ever imagined actually having a future with, at least a future where he would be happy, and he was seeing to it that she'd be the last one as well.

Which is why last night happened. He wasn't sure how it happened, or how he finally had the balls to do it, but it happened and he wasn't sure when the last time he'd been so happy was.

He hadn't really come to terms with it all yet, either. It was almost surreal. For too long now – two years, he thinks? – he'd been stuck in his own variation of hell, and now he was free. He was free to walk around in his house naked. He was free to burp and fart as he pleased, pee with the door open, sing loudly to Kiss in the shower at 1 am – he was free to do whatever the hell he wanted.

He let it all sink in as he picked up his laptop before flopping onto his couch. He let out a smirk as he lifted his long legs and let them dangle onto the coffee table _with_ his shoes still on because guess what – he was free to do this too, now.

_Rach,_

_I broke off my engagement with Quinn last night._

He began typing out the words as he shifted on the couch, getting comfortable. This was going to be a long email.

* * *

"You can't see anything, right?" Nate asked for the fifth time, adjusting the blindfold over her face again.

She shook her head, letting her hair fall to her face. She hadn't the slightest idea as to where she was, or what she was going to do be doing. She simply woke up that morning to an empty bed, and a box with a note that read, _"Wear this tonight, I'll be back to pick you up around seven thirty. Love always, Nate."_

And so, she'd done as she was told and waited patiently until a black town car came to pick her up at exactly seven thirty. A sleek black door of the car opened, revealing Nate, a blindfold in hand. He simply shrugged off the questioning looks she continued to shoot at him for most of the car ride until he simply wrapped the blindfold around her eyes, telling her she was "going to have a night like no other."

She stumbled her way out of the car as he held her hand, guiding her towards the undisclosed destination that he was taking her to.

She attempted to reach her arms out as far as they would go, trying to feel something, anything to give to her a clue. But he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her arms down.

"Oh no, you're not ruining the surprise, Ms. Berry!" He kissed the top of her head, continuing to guide her into what she assumed was an elevator.

She walked a few more steps until her face was hit by the crispy air, sending shivers down her spine.

"Okay, first, I brought your cold because I had a feeling it would be chilly." Nate whispered in her ear, sending a whole other set of chills down her spine as he slipped her coat onto her tiny frame. "Second," he paused, kissing her softly on the mouth, "I love you."

He pulled the blindfold off of her eyes gently and she gasped, joy filling her body.

She turned to Nate with starry eyes, "Oh my God! This is the most amazing thing you've ever done!" She looked around, taking in the scene. She was on top of a somehow empty rooftop of the Empire State Building, with just a table off to the corner, a candle light adorning its center. She walked to the edge of the rooftop, looking over at the lights of the City she almost loved more than anything. She turned back to Nate, standing on her tippy-toes to wrap her arm around his neck.

"How did you manage to do all of this, Nate? This place is never empty!" She whispered along his neck, leaving a trail of kisses down his collarbone.

She heard him chuckle, "Oh, you know … I pulled some strings." She rolled her eyes before he continued, "Really though, my mom pulled some strings. I guess being a New York Socialite has its perks."

She laughed before he took her hand, sitting her down tiny table that was set up.

"So, we've got your favorite wine, your favorite vegan dish and uh … well, I have a question." He said, adjusting the position of his tie before getting down on one knee. Her breathe hitched in her lungs as she silently watched his actions, eyes growing wider with every second that passed.

"Rachel Berry, will you marry me?" Nate asked, pulling a blue box out of his pocket.

Rachel felt a stinging behind her eyes before tears sprang onto her cheeks. For the first time in a long time, Rachel Berry was left speechless, only nodding to give Nate some sort of response to his question.

He sprang up from the floor, pulling Rachel off of her chair as he lifted her off of the ground, twirling her in the air before planting a kiss, softly on her lips.

"I love you." He whispered against her hair, kissing her as she whispered back, "me too."

This was truly a night like no other.

* * *

Rachel woke up the next morning, a smile plastered on her face as she examined the rock on her finger. It was perfect; not too big, but not too small, and simple. She inched closer to Nate's sleeping form next to her, resting her head on his shoulder as she drew patterns on his bare stomach with her fingers. She shook his side a little, in attempt to wake him. But after a few minutes of no response, she dropped a kiss on his temple before slipping out of bed.

She padded softly into the kitchen, flipping on the coffee machine before turning to the island in the middle of her kitchen to turn her laptop on.

Like a robot, she followed her daily routine, logging onto her email before doing anything else. Pleasantly surprised, she found an email from Finn. She opened it in a separate window, wanting to give him her news before she read his.

Walking back over to the coffee machine, she poured herself some in a mug before returning to the island. She hopped up onto a stool before hitting the "Compose" button.

_Finn! I have such fantastic news! I got engaged last night!_

She shifted in the uncomfortable stool, putting her feet up against the stool next to her; this was going to be a long email.

* * *

Sure, some may be disheartened by the fact that the love of their life was now engaged to someone else.

Some would sit, wallow, watch depressing movies, and cry. Others would get angry, get drunk, yell and scream. But Finn Hudson? He was taking a bit of a different approach to this situation.

He plopped down on his airplane seat, psyched that he'd gotten the window seat. He settled his laptop bag on the floor under him before taking his cell phone out.

He chuckled a little as he heard Kurt's long yawn before he managed a lazy, "Hello, Finn."

"Good morning, sleeping beauty. I just wanted to let you know that I got on the plane just now, and I'm going to be landing in about an hour and a half, so you should probably get your lazy ass up soon and start driving to the airport."

He heard Kurt sigh angrily before he heard sheets rumple around, and a loud bang.

"You okay there, Kurt?"

"Yes. I'm fine. I'll leave in forty minutes. I'll see you soon, Finn." Finn laughed at Kurt's snappy voice.

"Alright, well thanks for letting me stay with you, Kurt."

"Oh, Finn – how could I refuse you of anything now that you've finally dumped the troll! Plus, I have an extra room now that Rachel moved out an all, so it's really no problem."

"Alright, well thanks anyway. I have to put my cell phone away, now. See ya soon."

Finn turned his cell phone off as the flight attendant made her rounds, making sure everything was good to go.

As the airplane took off, Finn felt his body relax. Last time he'd gone to New York, he'd been stuck in a relationship in which he felt he had no way to get out of. This time, though … This time, he was going to find the girl he _truly _loved, and he was going to win her back, no matter what it took.

* * *

**A/N: Hi guys! I'm all done with APs so expect more, soon! Also, I know this chapter was kind of a rollercoaster with all that happened but I do hope you all liked it. Thanks so much to each and every one of you who reads/favorites/reviews! I love all of you! I could never thank you all enough! Don't forget to leave me a review! Nothing makes me happier!**

**Also, a special thanks to my proofreaders/tumblr friends – kewlkatz and pearlsandglamour! Love both of you! =) **

**Until next time …**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show,**_**Glee **_**nor the characters. Just this story.**

* * *

It's just a dinner. A dinner with a very good, old friend who just happens to be in town. Maybe if she repeats the words a few more times, Rachel thinks, she'll start to believe them.

Except that it really _is_ only dinner with a good friend. She's just not sure why she found it necessary to lie to Nate about it.

In all honesty, though, she hadn't intended to lie. When she was leaving the house, it kind of just slipped out that she was "going out to dinner after rehearsal with one of her friends from the musical" instead of the truth, which was that she was going out to dinner with Finn Hudson.

She hadn't intended for all of this to be so awkward, either. They'd been in touch for a long while now; exchanging both heartfelt confessions and tidbits of nothing important through email for over a year now. And to her surprise, not one of those emails had been awkward or strained – words just flowed between the two of them due to the chemistry and connection they both knew they'd had from the first time they met.

But here, sitting at Lulu's, she's so beyond sure that things have never been more awkward between the two. He's the same old Finn, full of funny comments and conversations that bring out the worst of nostalgia from her. She's just simply too nervous and antsy to involve herself in those conversations like she knows she should. It seemed that after his fourth attempt at a conversation, he'd just given up and had resorted to mindless small-talk.

"_So, how's your show going?" _

"_How's Nate?"_

"_How's the weather been?"_

But when she'd responded with one word answers, he'd given up on that as well, resorting to constantly filling his mouth with food in order to avoid being able to speak words at all.

"So," Rachel begins after two minutes of deafening silence, "how long are you here for?"

"I'm not really sure. I'm here for some job interviews, so I guess it depends on how they go and stuff." Finn was fibbing, Rachel could tell. But she decided to ignore that as she picked up her purse, taking one last bite of her tofu something or other. The strained conversation was getting to be too much for her. And honestly, all she wanted right now was a drink or two so she could stop being so damn awkward and actually talk to this man in front of her, who she used to have no problem at all conversing with prior to this.

"You know what? I'm kind of over the food here. Why don't we head out to the bar next door? It's a lovely little place."

She suppresses a giggle as she catches the surprised look etched on Finn's face. She knew soon, after a drink, she'd get over her awkwardness and then, finally, they could enjoy their night … as two friends should.

* * *

Finn had been a little surprised when Rachel had accepted his invitation to dinner with such excitement. He's not exactly sure what kind of response he was expecting, but what he'd gotten had left him pretty damn content.

He'd been even more surprised when she had politely declined his offer of bringing Kurt and Nate along too, if she wanted. "I see those two all of the time! I want to hang out with you and just you tonight!" she'd said.

But now … now, sitting here at some weird vegan restaurant that had dim lights and weird Korean music playing in the background, he kind of wished that he _did _bring Kurt along with him (though nothing would be awkward enough for Finn to wish Nate was with him. It wasn't that he had a problem with him, exactly. He was simply just … jealous? Yeah. He was jealous of him, that's all).

"So, you got my email about Quinn and all of that drama?" He asks her, hoping to get a conversation going like the ones they'd had through email.

To his displeasure, she simply nodded her head before bringing her glass of water to her lips, effectively ending that conversation right there.

"I found all of these old pictures the other day," he starts again, "there were so many pictures from Glee Club and like, the summers in between. And then I found this old video tape when I was packing up my apartment before coming here and … oh man. It's from one of our Glee Club competitions. Sectionals sophomore year, maybe? Or was it junior year? I'm not really sure, but God. I was an awful dancer. Who even let me stand on that stage?"

He's looking forward to her bursting out about some Glee Club memory or something, but instead, she just chuckles a little, which really just comes out more strained than anything else and remains quiet.

He's basically given up on trying to make actual conversation at all and has resorted to making just small talk in hopes of making her just a little bit less timid when she suddenly stands up, grabbing her purse and sliding a fifty on to the table.

"You know what? I'm kind of over the food here," she says. "Why don't we head out to the bar next door? It's a lovely little place."

Well, he thinks, maybe a few drinks are all they need to get back into their normal routine of endless conversation. He'd try anything at this point, anyway.

* * *

Rachel is five shots in only thirty minutes later, and _God_, she can't seem to stop talking. She'd gone in with the intentions of only drinking a beer, maybe two. But dammit, her intentions and her actions really were not matching up today.

"But then Kurt and I found out that he wasn't even gay! He just had an impeccable taste in fashion!" Rachel spit out in between fits of giggles, recalling an old memory of their once-upon-a-time gay best friend, who really turned out to be straight.

She watched as Finn's face crumbled as he began shaking with laughter, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. _This, _she realized. This was what she missed so much. Just hanging out with Finn, h_er best friend_. Laughing about old memories while making new ones. Feeling comfortable just talking about nothing for hours and hours.

It also helped that Finn downed just as many shots as she had, if not more.

They soon lapsed into a comfortable silence as Rachel rested her head on Finn's shoulder, swinging her legs up into his lap.

"God, I am so exhausted! This was so much fun, Finn! We should definitely do this again!"

He nodded, picking up his hand to check his watch. "You know, it's getting pretty late. I should probably get you home. Don't want Nate to get worried about you, no do we?"

Nate, she remembered. Nate, her fiance. Who she'd lied to earlier so that she could go out with Finn, her ex-boyfriend. Why had she done that, again? Why hadn't she just told him the truth? Even better question, why hadn't she just brought him along when Finn had answered?

She supposed the low, rumbling, flip-floppy feeling in her chest every time her skin came into contact with Finn's would be the answer to both.

She slowly got up, making sure she made no sudden movements that would result in her falling right back down, or worse, puking all over the damn bar. She could feel Finn's large hand resting on the small of her back as he guided her towards the exit, and that feeling in her chest erupted again. God, this was so screwed up. She shouldn't … no, she couldn't be feeling like this. Not right now, not for him.

She watched as Finn walked toward the curb of the sidewalk, attempting to hail a cab.

"Hey Finn," she called out. "You think we could walk home? I need some air." He simply nodded, walking back to where she was standing, and without thinking about it, she grabbed his hand. She expected him to pull back, tell her to walk at a five foot distance from him, or something, the way her head was telling her to do. But instead, he simply squeezed it a little before asking her which way her apartment was.

"This way!" She said, pointing to the right. Or was it … "No, no! This way. I think it's this way." She said, changing directions and heading towards the left.

"You sure you know which way you're going, Rach?" Finn asked, chuckling as she skipped to keep in pace with his larger strides.

"Absolutely! See that restaurant? Kurt and I used to eat there _all the time_! Until one day, we both got some bad food poisoning and then, we never went back!" She was almost singing her words; she was pretty sure, as she pointed to a small restaurant across the street.

"And that Starbucks? I always used to Skype you from there! I'm sure if we went in, you'd recognize it immediately. Although I highly doubt it's open considering it's…" she pulled out her cell phone from the pocket of her skirt, pressing the ignore button when she realized the three missed calls she had from Nate, "it's 2:00 am. Wow. I didn't even realize it was that late."

Finn laughed, pulling her in a little bit closer as the wind seemingly grew colder. "Yeah, time flies when you're having fun." He paused. "That's the saying, right?"

Rachel let out a little laugh. Typical Finn. Constantly doubting himself. "Yeah, it is."

"Okay!" Rachel said, stopping in front of a building. "This is my apartment! Thanks for walking me, Finn."

A look of confusion washed over Finn's face, and for some inexplicable reason, it released yet another fit of giggles from Rachel. "What? Why do you look like … that?"

"Rach, I'm pretty sure this is Kurt's apartment. Not yours."

Rachel looked up at the building, clarity dawning on her. "Oh. I … I forgot I don't live here anymore." A wave of sadness suddenly washed over her, because sometimes she just missed living with Kurt so much. How did she get to her apartment from here, anyway?

"Look," Finn said, breaking her train of thought (that she had to admit, was going nowhere) "Why don't you just come upstairs, and I'll give you some water and stuff so you can sober up a bit before I take you home? Plus, I like, really have to pee."

Water. Peeing. Stuff. God, that all sounded so fabulous right now, Rachel thought, as she followed Finn up into Kurt's apartment.

* * *

What started out with sitting on the couch to rest their feet for a bit soon turned into cuddling on the couch while watching_ Friends_ re-runs, which somehow turned into making out on the couch.

Finn could feel Rachel's body press into his as he gently bit her bottom lip, remembering she always liked it when he got just a little bit rough. Her hands tugged at his hair as he laid them down on the couch, positioning himself so that he was hovering right above her. He kissed the parts of her neck he knew she always liked, grinning when he got a positive response from her.

He felt her tug at his shirt, and he slipped it off, letting it fall to the ground. Kurt wouldn't be home tonight anyway, so it's not like he'd complain about the mess. Yeah, 'cuz that's the first thing he'd complain about if he walked into his living room this very second, Finn thought.

He could feel her lips moving slowly down his chest as his pants got tighter and tighter, and soon, her hands were on the waistband of his pants, fumbling with the zipper.

He shrugged his pants of, sliding his hands under shirt, letting her boobs come into contact with his hands. He felt her hands on his just before she stuck her hands up, ordering him with her eyes to help her take the thin material off of her body.

He reached behind, and messily unhooked her bra, letting it fall behind her.

He stared at her naked boobs, and _God_, it had been so long since he'd been graced by this perfect sight, it made his body tingle in the un-manliest way possible.

"Rach, I've missed you. So much." The words kind of slip out as he pulls his face from hers, and he's afraid of the response he's going to get because … what if this is just meaningless for her? What if this is just a hook-up; nothing special. He suddenly regrets saying the words because to him … to him, this is so much more than just a hook-up. This is him loving the woman he's thought of _everyday_ for a number of years now. This is what he came all the way to New York for. This is all he's dreamed of for too long now.

A tiny spark ignites in him as she lets out a little content smile, "me too, Finn."

And suddenly, his lips are back on hers and it's more passionate, more heavy than before. In a haze of lust, the rest of their clothes find themselves accompanying the previously discarded clothes on the floor.

"Condom?" Rachel whispers into Finn's ear and he reaches for his wallet that's lying in the middle of the coffee table.

She tugs it out of his hand before he can open it, and gently rolls it up his penis, blowing a soft kiss at the tip once she's done, before trailing her way upwards with tiny kisses until she meets his lips.

He flips her over effortlessly, because really, it's not like she's grown in the last couple of years.

He watches as she shifts uncomfortably under him, and he stops what he's doing immediately. "You okay, Rach?"

"I just … I haven't been … intimate with anyone, not like this, I mean, since we … since we did it." She's turning crimson and fumbling with her words and he feels a combination of relief and confusion wash over him.

"You mean … You mean you never did it with Nate?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He can't believe he just said that. He can't … He just wants to go bang his head on a fucking wall because, fuck, he just messed up everything, didn't he?

* * *

Nate. Shit. _Nate._ Her fiancé. Nate.

God, _what the hell was she doing?_ What was she doing in her ex-roommates apartment, about to have sex with her ex-boyfriend?

Suddenly, Rachel felt like the scum of the earth. This was wrong. This was _so, so _wrong. Nate didn't deserve this.

Rachel could see the hurt and confusion in Finn's eyes as she pushes him off, mumbling "I'm sorry, I have to go. I shouldn't have … I'm so sorry," before slipping her shirt, skirt and shoes on, stuffing her underwear and bra in her purse before running out of the apartment.

Shit._ She can't believe what she just did._ How was she going to explain this to Nate?

* * *

**A/N: Hi guys! Okay, so this was my awkwardly terrible attempt at writing some sort of smut. I epically failed, I know :x Also, I don't condone cheating I just ... I had to :x :x Allllso, I know I say this all the time, but I really am going to try to spew out some more chapters faster so I can finish this because I outlined a new fic the other day, and am BEYOND excited to write it! But I want to finish this one first so … yeah. Alright, hope you all enjoyed!**

**BTW guys, the day I get to a 100 reviews, I'm throwing a huge freaking finchel party and you're all invited! :)**

**Until next time …**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show, **_**Glee **_**nor the characters. Just this story.**

* * *

It's funny, Rachel thinks, how a ring so small could suddenly feel like it weighed a ton. She shifted in her bed, letting Nate's arms that were encircling her upper body fall limp on her waist. She brought her hand closer to her face, twisting the ring on her finger.

She'd gotten lucky last night; Nate was fast asleep long before she'd gotten home. But she couldn't ignore the heavy feeling in her chest every time she thought of the previous night and what she'd done. She hadn't only cheated on her Nate, the man that had gotten her through thick and thin in the past couple of years, but she had allowed herself to feel something for Finn again, the man who, she's pretty sure, would always have tight grip on her heart.

Worst of all, she couldn't shake the feeling of his lips on hers. And his hands all over her body, ravishing every inch of her. She knows it should have felt wrong, really. But all that felt wrong right now was Nate's arm around her and his nose nuzzling her neck.

"Good morning, babe." Nate's raspy voice broke through Rachel's thoughts as he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer to his chest.

Rachel squirmed uncomfortably, mumbling a 'good morning' back.

"When'd you get home last night? Sorry I didn't wait up for you, I was just so tired I knocked out early as hell."

Rachel looked up at the ceiling, willing herself to tell him the truth – about everything - because honestly, Nate was too good for her, and he deserved _so _much better than this.

Instead, Rachel found herself squeaking out an almost inaudible "Not too late" before moving Nate's arm from her body, making an attempt to get out of bed.

He pulled her back down, grabbing her hand to drop tiny kisses on her knuckles. He moved his mouth to her neck, connecting his lips to the base of her throat.

"Stay in bed with me, babe." He mumbled lazily, pulling her back to him again.

She made an attempt to struggle out of his grip, only giving in when he brought his lips to hers. She fell back into his arms, still unable to make any sort of eye contact with him. How could she, after last night?

She hears her cell phone beep from her side table and she untangled herself from Nate's arms, rolling over to the other side of the bed to check the device.

With a jumbled feeling of excitement and guilt she realized it was Finn.

"_**Sorry about last night, Rach. Wanna make it up to u. Be ready at 7, I'll pick u up."**_

With shaking hands, she hit the reply button, typing in "_**Ok."**_ She hit the send button before Nate could peek at her phone and threw it back on the side table.

"Who was it?" He asked, sitting up in bed as he stretched his arms over his head.

"Uh, just Jess from the musical. She wanted to go out tonight, after rehearsal. I know I was out last night too, so I'll stay home with you tonight if you want. Or we could go out …"

He bent down, lifting her chin up with his finger as he left a chaste kiss on her lips. "Nah, it's all good, babe. I have a dinner meeting anyway."

Rachel fell back on the pillows, covering her face with the blanket as Nate made his way to the bathroom.

_God, when did everything become such a terrible, terrible mess?_

* * *

Finn didn't really regret the night before, nor was he really sorry about it. Sure, Nate's probably a great guy – at least that's what he's assuming from the way he hears Kurt and Rachel talk about him. But his relationship with Rachel can't really compare to the relationship he and Rachel had, right? Because if it _was_ greater than their relationship, then she wouldn't have done any of what she did last night, right? His suspicions are proved correct when she responds to his text only a minute after he sent his, agreeing to go out with him again tonight.

He's walking around the kitchen with a smug smile, filling a bowl to the rim with Trix before splashing milk into it, causing some of the cereal to overflow onto the kitchen counter. Smile still in place, he walks over to the couch and flops down, flipping through channels to find something good on TV, despite the fact that his mind is too consumed with the thoughts of Rachel, naked on this very couch last night to even focus on what he's watching.

He's finally settled on watching Spongebob when Kurt walks in, huffing and puffing with red, bloodshot eyes.

"God, I have the worst hang over ever!" Kurt fell onto the couch next to Finn, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"And what were you doing last night, young man?" Finn asked, trying to mimic the tone Burt always adopted when the two of them were in trouble.

Kurt raised his body from the couch suddenly, grabbing his head in his hands right after. "Oh, God. Too fast, too quick. Not good." He leaned back into the couch once more, looking at Finn from the corner of his eye. "I should be asking you the same thing, Finn Hudson."

Finn raised one of his eyebrows as he stuffed another spoonful of Trix into his mouth. "Whaddya mean?"

Finn let out a snort of laughter as Kurt's face twisted into a scowl, with a hint of disgust.

"First of all, you know I hate it when you talk while you have food in your mouth. Chew first, Finn. Then speak. And second, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. I saw you, last night. With Rachel."

Finn's eyes grew wide as he stuffed another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "What … What are you talking about Kurt? You must've been really drunk last night."

"Oh, don't play dumb Hudson. I wasn't hallucinating; I saw you two leaving that bar near Lulu's last night. Holding hands."

Kurt's eyes grew hard as he continued to stare at Finn, daring him to say otherwise.

When Finn's only response was to spoon more cereal into his mouth, Kurt relented and let his head hit the back of the couch. "Look, Finn. I don't know what you and Rachel are up to but just … Be careful, okay? She's engaged – as in, about to get married. To Nate. And Nate is a great guy, and although I don't want to believe that Rachel would do something to hurt him, I do know that her resolve is very, very weak when it comes to you. I don't want either of you to do something you'll regret later."

With that, Kurt stood from the couch, moaning as he made his way to the shower.

Finn sighed; Kurt wasn't going to understand any of this because he didn't understand the kind of love Finn and Rachel had, and still have. No one would, really. He would just have to keep this all a secret from Kurt, at least for the time being.

* * *

"Finn, really? Don't you think mixing us with alcohol _again_ would be a bad idea?" Rachel asks as they weave through a crowded bar, making their way to a table on the corner.

Finn just shakes his head, locking one of his fingers with hers to keep from losing her in the crowd as he keeps walking towards the bar to get drinks.

He's finally ordered them two shots of Patrón when he turns to her, a glint in his eyes. "Well, I hear that Karaoke goes over best when drunk. So … bottoms up?"

Rachel eyes grow big as she brings the shot cup to her mouth, letting the alcohol burn her throat. "Karaoke? Oh goodness, thank God. I almost thought that performer who was singing that awful rendition of I Will Always Love You was an actual singer. My ears were so close to bleeding." She lets out a tiny shudder and he laughs because sometimes, when he can see that tiny bit of the Rachel Berry he knew in High School, he falls in love with her all over again.

"Come on, let's go take a seat and uh … enjoy the show?" Finn says, taking the opportunity to grab her hand once more as he leads her to the bar stools close to the stage.

* * *

Rachel Berry is tired. No, wait. She's exhausted, terribly so. It's four shots later, and seven songs – or was it nine? – Nine songs later, and she and Finn are sprawled out on the stools they started out on hours ago.

She and Finn had taken the stage together two hours, bringing back their rendition of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart." But soon, that song had turned into another and then, another; the crowd in the bar incessantly begging for just "one more song" and before she knew it, the two had put on a concert of sorts for the bar, singing everything from "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch" to "Summer Nights" from _Grease_.

She made a lazy attempt to jump off the stool, stumbling once her feet hit the ground. "I, uh, I should go. It's getting late … Nate will be worried."

She watched as Finn slowly raised his head from where he had positioned it, right in the middle of counter of the bar. He swiveled in the stool to face her. He pulled at her hands, forcing her to step closer to him so that his mouth was close to her ear.

"Don't go, Rach. Don't go back home … not to him." He breathed in her ear, his words slurring.

Rachel stepped back, pulling her hands away from his reach. "Finn," she started, shaking her head at him. "Don't do this. You're drunk - this, this is just the alcohol talking. Go home, I'll find my own way."

Finn jumped off of his stool, taking a step closer, pulling her to him once again.

"Don't you get it Rach? You don't love him like you love me … You never will. We belong together – If we didn't, then you would have stopped last night from happening. You wouldn't have even touched me, if you truly loved _him_. Fuck, you wouldn't even be here right now. But you are. And it's because at the end of the day, you're still in love with me. And I'm still in love with you. So can we just cut the bullshit already and be together? Because …" Finn took a shaky breath, pulling Rachel in even closer. "Because, it hurts Rachel. It hurts to be without you. And I don't want to hurt anymore. I just … I just want you."

He whispers the last part so lightly, she almost misses it. She can feel tears on the edge of her eyelashes, threatening to trickle down any second.

She's wanted this for so long. She wanted this when she broke up with him to put herself and her dreams, first. She wanted this when she went weeks without talking to him. She _so badly _wanted this when she showed up in Ohio, only to find him engaged. But now … now that she had him. She couldn't do this to Nate, not again.

"Finn, I-I have to go home." She backed away from him, almost running the distance from their table to the exit.

_You don't know how you met me__  
__You don't know why__  
__You can't turn around and say goodbye__  
__All you know is when I'm with you__  
__I make you free__  
__And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea__  
__I'm singin'_

She slowly turns around, one hand on the door, to find Finn stumbling his way to stage, microphone in hand.

_Follow me everything is alright__  
__I'll be the one to tuck you in at night__  
__And if you__  
__Want to leave I can guarantee__  
__You won't find nobody else like me_

She wants to run and hide, and just get away from it all. But she can't because his voice … it does things to her. It makes her feel. It sucks her in. It makes her fall in love with the awkwardly tall boy on the stage in front of her, tripping over non-existent items on the floor as he makes his way to her.

_I'm not worried 'bout the ring you wear__  
__Cuz as long as no one knows than nobody can care__  
__You're feelin' guilty and I'm well aware__  
__But you don't look ashamed and baby I'm not scared__  
__I'm singin'_

He's hovering right over her now, and his hand has found a way to her neck, bringing her face closer to his as he serenades her. She's cursing herself as she melts into his touch, her resolve weakening. He stops singing, silence filling the crowded room as he brings his lips to her face, brushing them slightly along her lips before bring the microphone back to his lips.

_You don't know how you met me__  
__You don't know why__  
__You can't turn around and say goodbye__  
__All you know is when I'm with you__  
__I make you free__  
__And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea_

* * *

**A/N: So, I'm beyond unhappy with chapter but … **_**sigh**_**, I don't know what else to do. So here it is! Thank you SO much for everyone who keeps reviewing/alerting/reading! I love you all, so so much! 333 Hit the little review button on the bottom and make my day, pretty pretty please! =)**

**Also, thank you to Uncle Kracker for the lyrics =)**

**Until next time … **


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show **_**Glee, **_**nor the characters. Just this story.**

* * *

There comes a point in your life when you're just _tired_.

Tired of knowing that the person you love will never truly love you back.

Tired of being in a relationship with that person, knowing that despite the fact that they try _so hard_ to let you in, and give you that special place in their heart, they are seemingly physically incapable of doing so.

Tired of _always_ coming in second best and having to pretend that you're okay with it.

And Nate Davis? Yeah, he was _tired_. So, so tired.

He kicked his legs up on to the coffee table, wiping a hand across his face with one hand while flipping through channels with the other as he waited for Rachel to come home. With an annoyed sigh he flicked the off button on his remote once he realized nothing good was ever on TV once it hit twelve and let it fall to the floor before resting his head on the back of the couch.

He tried not to let it bother him, how much time his fiancé was spending with her ex-boyfriend lately. He really, really did. But he just couldn't help it anymore. It was like the more she was around Finn - hanging out with him, going out to dinner with him, taking him sightseeing - the more he thought back to Rachel's words from years ago, only a few months after breaking up with Finn. "I'll always be in love with Finn." She had said. "Despite whom I'm with in the future, where I am, what I'm doing – I think I'll always love Finn. I just … I can't be with him right now."

He thought it was silly when he'd first heard her say that because honestly, he didn't believe that she would always be in love with her high school boyfriend, especially since she was here in New York, and he was in the Middle East. But the more he thought about it now, the more he felt the truth of the words. He didn't believe that Rachel didn't love him; it was just that he knew she would always be _in_ love with Finn Hudson. His fiancé would always love someone else _more._

"Nate!" Rachel's voice broke through his thoughts. "What are you still doing up? You didn't have to wait up for me."

He looked up at her face as she threw her purse onto her kitchen counter, noting the slight flush in her cheeks, the kind that only appeared when she'd been laughing for too long, and a glint in her eyes. With a heavy heart, he realized he could not even remember the last time he'd been the reason behind those flushed cheeks and the glint.

"Rach … we need to talk." He said, patting the spot on the couch next to him. He watched as her eyes grew in confusion, and he took a deep breath. Regardless of what his heart wanted, he had to do this. He had to let go of her.

They both deserved it.

* * *

"Wait, so what exactly did he say?" Kurt asked, scooping heaps of ice cream into bowls for Rachel and himself.

Rachel waited for Kurt to make his way from the kitchen to the couch before turning to him. "Basically, he said that he loved me enough to let me go. He said that he wants me to be happy, and to be with the person I truly love and I just … I don't get it. What did I do wrong, Kurt?"

Rachel could feel the tears welling up in her eyes for the third time since Nate had walked out, telling her that he'll be staying at his parent's house for a few days. The second it had happened, Rachel had called Kurt, her voice nearing hysterics.

Kurt brought his hands to Rachel's, lacing his fingers with hers. "Rachel, I do mean this in the nicest way possible but … how far up your ass is your head, exactly?"

Rachel pulled her hands away from Kurt, shooting him an offended look. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I just mean that you didn't do anything wrong, Rachel. You just can't help who you love."

"I love Nate, Kurt." Rachel said, her voice firm.

Kurt nodded, grabbing Rachel's hands again. "I'm not saying that you don't love Nate. But you have to face the truth, Rach. For reasons that I will probably never understand, you are _in love_ with my asinine brother. I know it._ He_ knows it, I mean, he hasn't even looked at a girl since he's gotten here and his relationship with the Wicked Witch of the West – that was the biggest joke I've seen since Ms. Rhodes all-white version of The Wiz. And I think it's pretty clear that even Nate knows it, now. I mean, if you ask me, it seems that you're the only one who hasn't realized it yet. Or, you have, but you've just been ignoring it. Maybe it's because you feel that you can't trust Finn. Or maybe it's because you didn't want to hurt Nate. But if it's the latter, Rach…" Kurt brought a finger to Rachel's chin, pulling it upwards so he could look her in the eye.  
"Then this is your chance. Nate is letting you go because he knows you deserve your chance at happiness, and so does he. In all the years I've known you, other than a stage, Finn has been the only thing who's ever been able to make you truly happy. And you know it."

Rachel bit her lip, squeezing Kurt's hand a little bit tighter. She had so much on her mind, and had no idea where to go from here.

"Also, if you need to move back – your room is always available. We can just kick Finn out to the living room." Kurt said, sliding a DVD into Rachel's DVD player.

Kurt took in Rachel's confused face and leaned in for a hug. "Everything's going to be okay, Rach." He pulled back, putting a hand on her shoulders. "I know it may not seem like it right now, but I promise, it will. Plus, there's nothing that Funny Girl and a good cuddle can't fix." He said, hitting play before put his arm around Rachel's shoulder, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder.

* * *

Finn wasn't sure if it was appropriate to jump around in joy or not but … what the hell, he did it anyway. How could he not? The girl he'd been in love with since before he could remember, who he was just about to give up on, was finally, finally single.

"Congratulations, Finn." Kurt had said only minutes ago, walking in after having an impromptu sleepover at Rachel's. "He broke up with her. She's finally single."

Finn dropped the bagel he just about to stuff into his mouth and stared at Kurt, his mouth hung agape. "What … what do you mean?"

"I mean that Nate broke his engagement with Rachel. I think he finally realized that Rachel would never love him the way she loves you. And I think she's finally realizing it, too." Kurt said, picking up the bagel from Finn's plate. "Mmm, this is delish! Thank you, Finn. I was absolutely starved."

Finn made his way to the kitchen, plucking his bagel out of Kurt's newly manicured fingertips before sitting down on a stool. "So, what happened? Why'd he –"

Kurt broke off Finn mid-sentence. "Oh, you need to pack up your stuff by the way. You can't have the bedroom anymore."

Finn's face fell. "Dude, what the hell? I was just kidding about the bagel; you can have it if you want it. It's not a big deal!"

Kurt took the bagel from Finn's hand graciously, taking a large bite. "No, no, it's not that. Rachel just needs a place to live in again, so I offered her back her old room, which is your current room but soon to be her room again. You're moving to the sofa."

Finn could feel his face literally light up. Rachel. In this apartment. Living here. With him. Every day. With him. _And every night_. And God, the last time she was here with him. On that sofa. This had to be a sign, right?

"Okay, stop your disgusting train of thought right now, Finn." Kurt's voice broke him out of his reverie. "She just got out of a long, long relationship. She was engaged! You can't just pounce on her right away. You have to be her friend, first, okay? She's probably not ready to jump into something new right away." Kurt said, walking to his bedroom.

He turned around before shutting the door, "But just between you and me … I think you have a pretty good shot. She admitted that the reason it didn't work out with her and Nate was because they both knew you'd always have her heart."

Yeah, this was definitely a sign.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Rachel had moved in to her old apartment.

It had been three weeks since Rachel and Nate had broken their engagement.

It had also been three weeks since Rachel had started avoiding Finn Hudson at all costs. Even if it meant leaving the apartment at an ungodly hour, and coming home when she was sure he was asleep. And the times she was home, she only left her room when necessary.

It's not that she didn't want to see him – not that at all. It was that she was finally realizing how _badly_ she wanted to see him, all the time. And she felt awful

She shouldn't want to see another man only weeks after ending such a long relationship. She shouldn't be having dreams about him (really vivid ones, at that) and she certainly shouldn't have him on her mind at all hours of the day, and night. But she did. And it made her feel like a terrible person. She barely mourned the end of one relationship before thinking about the next, which was why she _had_ to avoid him, at least for the time being.

Rachel tiptoed through the hallway, hoping that despite the fact that she was running forty-five minutes Finn would still be asleep.

She cursed under her breathe when she noticed the empty couch. Hearing the bathroom door behind her creek open, she made a run for the door, attempting to get out before Finn could stop her.

"Rachel?" No such luck. She stopped walking, one hand on the door knob. She felt a pang in her chest, hearing the desperation in her voice.

She slowly turned around, feeling a flushing heat in her cheeks. "Finn!" Her voice squeaked, feeling her cheeks flame further.

Rachel could feel her grip on the door handle tighten as Finn walked closer to her.

"Look," he started once he was hovering over her. "I don't know what been going on with you or why you've been avoiding me like the plague but just …. You know how I feel about you, Rachel. And I-I know you feel the same way. You've always known it and I've always known it and I don't know why we're still beating around the bush … but we are. And if that's what you want, fine. I'll wait for you for as long as you want me to. Just … please talk to me, Rachel. Living in this house, knowing you're just a few steps away from me but not being able to talk to you is killing me."

Rachel's could feel the wild beats of her heart in her chest pounding so loud she was sure he could hear it, too. Without thinking about it, Rachel found her body leaning towards Finn, her hands moving to his face.

"I'm sorry, Finn." She whispered earnestly, her eyes focused solely on his.

She stood on her tip-toes, reaching forward to meet his lips with hers. She broke away only seconds later, still unsure of her actions.

"I love you, Rachel." Finn breathed, resting his forehead on hers.

Rachel nodded, because this – this was the one thing she _was_ sure of. "I love you too, Finn."

"I'll wait for you." He whispered as Rachel wrapped her arms around him.

There was one more thing she was sure of – he wouldn't have to wait all the much longer.

* * *

**A/N: Wooooohoo Finchel reunion! The next chapter will be the LAST and I promise all of you, after all of this angst, it will be a super fluffy one! Haha I hope you all enjoyed it!**

**Until next time …**


	13. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show **_**Glee, **_**nor the characters. Just this story.**

* * *

At the age of seventeen, like any other teenager, Finn Hudson felt confused about most things in life. There was one thing, though, that Finn Hudson was completely positive of – that he loved Rachel Berry. Not only that, but if there was any future he was sure of, it was with her. He could envision himself going the whole nine yards with her, and he was determined to do so. Now, a few years and too many obstacles later, Finn Hudson was finally where he wanted to be, with who he needed to be with.

Finn unlocked the door to his apartment with one hand, attempting to hide a bouquet of white lilies and pink freesias he picked up on his way home from work behind his back with the other.

"Rachel," he called out, kicking the door shut behind him as he walked into the living room. "Babe, where are you?"

Rachel walked out of their bedroom, a stern look on her face. She made her way around the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water before stopping in front of him, one hand placed on her hip in typical Rachel Berry fashion. "You're late, Finn. We were supposed to be at Kurt and Blaine's twenty minutes ago." She says in a stern voice before he can tell her how great she looks because damn … that skirt, and those heels. Finn Hudson is indeed a lucky man.

"I-I know," he says, flinching a little because yeah, he's like over forty minutes late. He had planned to go to work, pick up the files he needed and then go straight back home. But then he ran into his boss on the way out, and he happened to be watching the football game that was on. And it was the Jets and the Bengals and _come on_, how could he resist that? Especially when he was obviously a die-hard Cincinnati fan and his boss was a New Yorker whose loyalty laid with the Jets. He couldn't really help it, could he? So yeah, he was a little late. "And I'm sorry, but I did get you these." He said, pulling the flowers from behind his back while throwing that half-smile of his he knew she could never resist.

He watched as her eyes grew wide, sparkling a little as she took in the flowers he held out to her. "Finn, you can't just give me flowers every time you do something wrong!" She says sternly, taking the flowers from his hand. She brought them to her nose, hiding a slight smile as she sniffed the bouquet. "But I guess I'll forgive you this once." She said dejectedly, reaching up to kiss him.

She pulled away, walking over to a vase to fill it up with water before placing the flowers in them as Finn headed towards the fridge. He's about to open the beer he's just pulled out of the fridge when Rachel snatches it away from him, a wicked grin spread across her face.

"Nuh-uh, babe. Not now. You need to go shower because we need to go." She pushed him towards the bathroom with both hands.

He pulled his shirt over his head, letting it fall to the ground before turning around, bringing his lips to hers. He slipped his hand under her shirt, playing with the clasp on her bra. "Why don't you join me in the shower, babe?" He murmured against her lips, his voice a low roar as he feels her body shiver.

"Can't. We can't be even later, Kurt will kill us." She said, though she made no attempt to pull away from his grasp on her.

He pulled her closer to him, unbuttoning her shirt before taking it off completely. "Oh, I'll deal with him."

* * *

"Kurt was so angry at us." Rachel said, stripping out of her dress and skirt … for the second time that day. She pulled Finn's old McKinley t-shirt over her head before climbing into her bed, scooting close to Finn.

"I know! I mean normally, you mention Oprah and Kurt's on like, cloud nine, but not even my extra long conversation about her finale calmed him down." Finn said, a laugh escaping his mouth despite his attempt to hold it in.

"And he kept saying 'Fabulous. Just fabulous. My lasagna is going to taste awful; lasagna's no good when you microwave it!'" Rachel laughed out loud; living with Kurt for a number of years had allowed her to perfect her Kurt imitations.

"Did you see his face though? When you gave him that Red Velvet cake we picked up from Magnolia? I swear, I don't even see him that excited on Christmas." Finn put his arm around Rachel's waist, pulling her in close before dropping kisses into her hair.

"He _was _delighted." She said, smiling into Finn's chest. "It's nice to see him and Blaine so happy, finally.

"It's nice to see _you_ so happy, babe." Finn said, earning another kiss from Rachel because truthfully, she couldn't have fallen in love with a better man.

"_You _make me happy, Finn." She kissed a tiny trail from his neck to his lips, sighing contentedly.

It was true. She was happier than she'd been in years and it all started with Finn. Not to mention, her off-Broadway production was a hit and Finn had a great job with a sports agency and everything was … perfect. It was absolutely, positively perfect.

Finn picked up Rachel's hand, dropping a kiss on her palm before making his way to the tip of her fingers. He stopped on her ring finger, playing with the ring her finger bore. "It was the one my dad gave to her when they got married. She loved it, like a lot. And she always told me she'd give it to me to give it to the girl I wanted to marry when I was younger." She smiled. Of course she already knew all of that, but she knew how much he liked telling this story, so she let him.

"You know, she gave it to me when we graduated high school. I'm pretty sure she meant for me to give it to you then, but I didn't wanna freak you out or anything so I just kinda kept it with me since then. 'Cause even when we weren't together, I still had this, you know?"

Rachel nodded, _she knew._ She definitely knew; she held countless old McKinley shirts and other small memorabilia close to her when she and Finn were broken up.

"I also think that my mom expects us to get married soon and have like, tons of kids." Finn added. "And you know, I'm not really opposed to that idea."

Rachel let out a hearty laugh, "Oh God, can you imagine a bunch of Finn Hudsons running around this apartment?"

"Or we could have a bunch of Rachel Berrys. I mean, they would definitely be more well-behaved, and like, smarter and stuff."

"And they'd also be a bunch of little stubborn divas!" Rachel laughed.

"I don't think we're safe either way. I think I'll go with a bunch of Finn's, though because you're right. Six Rachel Berrys might be too many for me to handle." Finn joked.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Six?"

"Don't you remember babe? We decided on five kids, plus you. So, six little berrys."

Rachel smiled at the memory.

"You know we don't really have a choice though, Finn."

"Yeah, I guess we'll just have to take what we're given. Speaking of…" Finn said, flipping Rachel over in a playful straddle. "We could get started on _that_ right about now." He joked, kissing her sloppily, getting a laugh out of her.

There was a while until Rachel Berry wanted to have children and Finn was aware of course; obviously, she would have to wait until there was at least one Tony under her name. But she _did _want to marry him and have beautiful children with him because if there was one thing Rachel Berry was sure of, it was that she wanted to go the whole nine yards with Finn Hudson. And in her heart, she knew they would.

* * *

_Fin._

* * *

**A/N: Done! That's it; that was the epilogue! It was short, and I hope it was sweet =) After all the angst, we finally got happiness! Thanks so much for everyone who has read/reviewed/favorited/alerted this story! It was my first actual story and you all made it a great journey! I'm also starting a new story kind of soon, so be on the look-out for it ;) Don't forget to review!**

**Until next time!**


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